Arthur's Forum of Inquiry
by Keys2theKingdom
Summary: AKA: another stupid letter story. Getting tired of these yet?
1. Dear Readers

Dear Readers:

Every other country, state, province, etc.,etc. seems to be creating one of these, so to save you from the hair-brained advice of all those idiots I thought I might as well write one as well. This is a send-a-letter-in-you-get-a-letter-back sort of deal, so no America, it won't work if you try to send me a telepathic message you twit. I am hoping this won't turn out to be _too_ big of a disaster and eagerly (or apprehensively, haven't decided which) await you're letters.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

**/**

-Yes, I am always this late to jump on the bandwagon

-Yes, I am very, very bored.

-Yes, I actually have spell check (most of these people apparently don't)

-Yes, there are certain rules.

**-It's **_**first come, first serve**_** on the pairings guys. I'll respond as Iggy for pretty much anything. But, I would rather have USUK. That's the only England I know how to write. (I will accept people flirting with him, but if you're just mentioning his love life ('You and_ made a lot of noise last night' or something) keep it to America please)**

** -You can, in theory, get around that rule though. (Just not the USUK part)**

** -If you write anything in any other language, put the translation at the end. I don't really have the time to look up what you're saying.**

** -OCs are acceptable. I'll take states, provinces, countries, territories, whatever.**

** -I don't really care about cursing or sexual references. If I edit your letter it will be grammar/spelling.**

** -Just to make sure you've read this, at the **_**very beginning**_** of your first letter put 'Unicorns are da bomb' and then you're actual letter.**


	2. America I

Dear Iggy,

Hey! How's it doing in England? _I miss you!_ When's the next world meeting anyway? I want to see you soon! It's lame over here being stuck between Canada and Mexico, you're sorta more interesting... How's Sealand? Or is he back at Finland's place? Also you _never_ answer my telepathic messages! I guess only Canada can... Who was I talking about again?

With more love than France,  
Alfred F. Jones :3

/

[strike]Dear[/strike] Alfred:

'How's it doing'? Really Alfred? _Really?_ If you're going to speak the English language, speak it properly. (And I don't care if you miss me or if you want to see me, not at all.) Peter's fine, and yes he went back with Sweden and Finland. Apparently I'm too much of a horror to visit for even a week. Of course I can't answer a _telepathic message_ you git! You're not bloody telepathic!

[strike]Love[/strike] Don't care,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Texas doesn't want you over, so why don't you come have tea with me instead? (Not that I want you too, but she promised me a favor if I got you to not go)

**/**

**I would say thanks but...Dori doesn't count. XD (JK) Also, yes, I do know that FF doesn't accept HTML. I just wanted to point out the strikes.  
**


	3. Texas I

Dear Arthur,

I just wanted to let you know it was me who shaved off your eyebrows and dyed your hair neon pink. Even though I framed Gilbert I'm tired of him getting credit for something he never did.

Also, how the hell do you get Unicorns to stop trashing your house? I have a family reunion with Papa(Spain) and I can't make my house look nice if those stupid things keep shitting and breaking my things. I was also told Momma(Alfred) is coming over too. Stupid idiot, I have shit to do. Can you distract him for me or something? If you do I won't pull anymore pranks; I promise!

One of Alfred's many daughters,

Texas.

P.S. Send me foo- oh wait your cooking is shit. Nevermind.

/

Texas:

I never thought that was Gilbert, my lock was obviously broken by an amateur. Thanks for fessing up though. Your unicorn's probably hungry, what have you been feeding it? They're pretty picky, but they seem to like most cereals. Their favorite is Cheerios. If you don't want it I'll take her, the poor dear's probably dying without someone who knows how to properly look after her. I'll do it, but only if you never refer to Spain in my presence again. (As well as the pranks)

[strike]Silently seething[/strike] Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Just for that, I'm sending you a _whole box_ of scones. You might want to acquaint yourself with the backspace key love; just a tip.


	4. America II

Dear Iggy,

Hey! I speak grammar good! LOL JK dude. I really do miss you a lot Artie. A lot a lot. Little dude gone already? Well, probably just couldn't take your cooking. (except your cookies, those are DELISH! wow... I really hate admitting that...) You are not a whore! Have you been selling yourself on the street? Has your economy died like mine?

LOL. I know you're not telepathic; that's something only twins can do.

Love Love with Love cookies and Love sprinkles on top and love ice cream  
and... hunger now,  
Alfred F. Jones

P.S. Aww... I'd love to come over Iggy! It's been a while! BTW if she ticks  
you off, just say you're doing her mom. It'll be HI-LA-RI-OUS! ;D

/

[strike]Dearest[/strike] Incredibly Infuriating Alfred:

No, Alfred, you _do not_ 'speak grammar good'. Ugh. It was physically painful for me to write that sentence. (I still don't care Alfred.) Yes, Peter left the day before yesterday. I didn't even get to drive him to the airport. Brat. (Well...thank you. You better not be lying again you prat.) What are you- HORROR Alfred! _Horror_ not _whore_! Bloody hell man, learn how to read!

Neither of us are telepathic Alfred, while you and Matthew might have that ability at times, you can't think that you want me bake cookies and then come over expecting some. It's ridiculous.

(A simple 'sincerely' will suffice Alfred, no need for overkill.)

[strike]Love[/strike]Sincerely,  
Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I. WILL. _NOT._


	5. America III

Dear Artie,

You know you love my horrible grammar! Sealand may be a brat, and you a jerk, but you're both still adorable! You more than Sealand... cause he's kinda annoying... (Of course I'm not lying! there's only one thing you're better at than making cookies you know ;D) LOL, I know, I just love messing with you! You're so cute when you're flustered or angry! Actually you're cute all the time! (Except when you cry...)

Well, If you know I'm coming over you should make cookies anyway! It's like...obvious.

(I shall overkill it as much as I want, because I'm the ORH; Overly Romantic Hero!)

Love you Sincerely,

Alfred F. Jones :3

P.S. Well hold on to that insult just in case. Spain taught me some thing to say to you in Spanish! '_Mi amor por ti es más fuerte que mi país_.' (Not  
telling you what that means BTW! No translation for you!)

/

Alfred:

No, I _do not_ love your atrocious speaking disabilities. And just...no. Never call me or the spawn adorable again. (I swear to God Alfred, if that means what I think it does...) And stop it! You can't go around upsetting people for your own amusement! (Stop. Calling. Me. Cute.) And the point is that I don't know that you're coming over; you simply blunder in and start demanding sweets.

(No. Just...stop it.)

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. ...choosing to ignore that...


	6. Texas II

Dear Arthur,

It makes sense that it looked amateurish, I was pretty wasted. I hardly even remember how I broke it in the first place, I think I just ripped it off and threw it somewhere.

I don't feed it, it helps itself to my pantry. I'm well aware that it likes cheerios, everytime I buy them they're gone in about an hour. And now because of it eating all my food, I have to survive on fast food and restaurant food. It's costing me out the ass. Please take it. It won't let me in my own house anymore 'cause I left for a week (stalker problems) and it hates me more.

Whatever, I won't mention him. I'll stop pulling prank on you too, you're no fun to prank anyways.

-Texas-

P.S. I'm sure it will feed fire quite well. Those dismembered bodies are making my (other) house smell, so I'm gonna burn it to the ground.

/

Texas:

Ah, or maybe you just suck at picking locks?

Well no wonder it doesn't like you! Unicorns prefer to be _taken care of_, not just left to fend for themselves. I'll come pick it up later I guess, poor thing needs proper care. Let me guess, Mexico again? Maybe if you treated your pets right they would chase her off; those things can hit bloody hard when motivated.

Thank you kindly, I wouldn't want to be.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Taking the PMS a bit_ too_ far aren't we love?


	7. America IV

Artie!

Sure you don't! What you want me to lie? you have to admit our spawn is adorable... (btw yes it does mean what you think it does!) I'm sorry, but you are so dang cute! (Never.) btw if it's such a problem, then I'll start calling! It's your problem, try making something decent that's not cookies! you also didn't put the love, that's scribbled through! Do you not love me anymore? You seem to be getting mad at me...

You're not going to force me to eat you food as punishment are you? I'll die!

( Not until you say it back.)

Love, with awesome heroic-ness,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. you are sooo mean to me Artie!

/

Alfred;

I don't. Seriously. No, I don't want you to lie, that's the _point_. (Ignoring...ignoring...) Stop. It. How about you just stop coming over at all and let me [strike]drink myself into oblivion[/strike] embroider in peace? That's it, never feeding you ever again. (Ignoring x 3)

You're a bloody git,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Stop being an idiot then!


	8. Prussia I

Yo, England!

The awesomeness himself has decided to grace you with his presence! Aren't you lucky! ;)

Anyway that chick Hungary is cramping my style again! I don't see why I should get a frying pan to the head JUST for wondering out loud what would happen if France had his way with Austria! What's her problem? You know what I think? I think she's just jealous of my awesomeness…yeah! That's it! Glad I figured that out. Anyway when are you going to fix your cooking? It tastes like crap.

Betting you're having an awesome day now that you talked to me,

Prussia

/

Prussia

Yes...incredibly lucky. (grimace)

Well, women tend to get offended when you suggest their husbands do the dirty with someone they hate Prussia; it's common sense. And considering the fact that you've never won a fight against her in anything, I doubt she's very jealous. And there is nothing wrong with my cooking thank you very much, you people just don't know how to appreciate it.

Assuring you that it was going much better before this letter,

Arthur Kirkland


	9. America V

Dear Artie,

That's it I'm coming over now. Just because you strike something out doesn't mean I can't read it! We both know you aren't going be embroidering when I get there. Stop ignoring me Iggy, you worry me sometimes! I'm the hero, you know!

Leaving soon,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. I'm not being an idiot... I'm in love. :3

/

Alfred;

Oh piss off. S'not my fault I can't find a bloody pencil anywhere. I'm perfectly fine thank you very much [strike]plus my brothers stole all my damn alcohol...[/strike] so leave me alone. I don't have time to entertain your damn hero fetish.

Locking my door,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. My point exactly.


	10. The Bermudas I

Dear England,

Hello father/Dad(whichever you would prefer I guess) How have you been? It has been a long time since we last talked to each other since incident with my old boss*shiver* (That bloody rapist). *sigh* America came over to our house last week with what he calls "food". Can you please remind me why I am not allowed to kill him again because we (Alyssia and myself) are really tried of that bloody wanker. Ah! Also are we still having the family reunion next week in London? Really miss everyone *sigh* but I guess that is the bad part about being in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. Also Alyssia says hello.

We Miss you a lot father,

Alice and Alyssia Kirkland (The Bermuda twins/The Bermudas)

/

Dear Alice and Alyssia,

Call me whatever you like, but you don't have to refer to me as your father if you don't want to. (Most people don't) I've been fine, sorry I haven't been in touch recently but I've been busy. I sincerely apologize for that; it must have been traumatic. I'll try to keep him away from you two from now on, okay? And you can't kill him because I would really prefer to avoid another World War. (And I think Germany might get jealous if someone else started one.) [strike]Also, it would make me very sad...[/strike] Er, it really depends if I can round up enough people who don't hate me and are sober; which is a bit tough. You can visit them on your own if you miss them (personally I'd love to have both of you over for tea sometime), but I'd stay away from Scotland. Far, far away. Tell Alyssia I say hi also.

Missing you too,

Arthur Kirkland.


	11. Rhode Island I

Dear Grandpa Arthur,

Hi! Rachael here, or Rhode Island. How are you doing? I just heard from Dad that you think unicorns are " da bomb", which is nice to know (but a major grammar error. Shouldn't you have caught that?)

Anyways, I heard from Romano that I might need to start calling you "Mama" soon—mind clearing that up?

I've included some of my awesome chourico and cheese omlette with my letter, 'cos it's what I've sorta've been living off of for the past while. I'm sorry if it's gone a bit cold, because I've had nothing but snow since the new year.

Now, a lot of people have said that your food is bad. I don't really think so. I'm in the process of mastering the art of baking scones. Maybe if you watch me one day, you'll pick up some tips on how to improve yours. There is always room for improvement.

With Love and Hope,

Rachael Williams-Jones

The State of Rhode Island and Providence Plantations

/

Dear Rachel,

Er...that's your father's grammar. Not mine. Try as I might I can't get proper grammar ingrained into that boy's head... Just ignore that. I have no idea what Alfred has been telling people, but just ignore it. Seriously. Ignore it.

Thank you for the omlette, it was very good. (Uni thought so too). Although, I suppose if you eat them so much they get a bit old after a while don't they? Well, I hope you can hang on until you find something else to eat at least. Yes, alot of you states have had that problem recently haven't you? I thought global warming was supposed to heat the world up, not make it cooler. Thank you for saying that my cooking isn't that bad, I might try to come and watch how you make them sometime. (As you said; room for improvement.)

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	12. America VI

Artie,

I will NOT piss off. I'll buy you some pencils when I get over there, if you're in such a desperate need of them. I don't think you're fine Artie, when you drink it usually means you're upset. Why can't you ever just tell me what's wrong? I worry about you dude!

I'm about to head to the airport now. Don't try going into any pubs until I get there and can properly supervise you. Who knows what frenchy will try to do?

I'm not trying to entertain any hero fetish I totally don't have. I'm really worried about you Iggy...

I'll break it down,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. Then try being a little more happy about it.

/

Alfred;

No, seriously, I'm _fine_. Do you honestly think I could respond to all these damn letters intoxicated? And I drink all the damn time, it's called being an alcoholic. It's 3 o' clock on a Monday Alfred, do you seriously think any are open? And I don't need bloody 'supervision' you sod, I'm a grown man. Stop worrying already you git.

Don't you dare,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Wanker


	13. Russia I

Dear Arthur,

It's me, da? How are you doing? I'm not writing to you because I want to, so don't get me wrong comrade; I just thought it would be nice of me to let you know that somehow, Belarus has gotten the notion in her mind, that you are utterly in love with me. However could that have happened, da? So, I hope you don't die, but since it's Belarus, I can't make you promises.

Other than that, I hope you're aware of what's been going on between Amerika and myself? You are aware, da? Hm, now I wonder... Oh well, you'll know soon enough!~

Don't stop being the wonderful...ly annoying pain in my жопа that you always are. If you ever give in and decide to accept the inevitable fact that you will someday be one with me, feel free to let me know. Don't worry,I'm not picking on you. Everyone will be, da?

From Russia, with love~

/

Russia;

Dear God man, are you trying to kill me? Why the hell would you tell her that? And what the bloody hell are you talking about? (Never becoming one with you. Ever. No one else probably will either.)

Call your goddamn sister off for the love of God,

Arthur Kirkland


	14. America VII

Arthur,

I know how late it is Artie, I'm at the airport now. You are not fine, being an alcoholic is NOT fine! I need to drag you to an A.A. meeting one of these days...

You need someone who isn't France to be with you! Last time you went without anyone, I found you sobbing in the middle of the woods! Dude, I'm really worried about you! Why can't you just come live with me anyway?

I'll worry if I need to.

I will if you don't let me in,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. Love you too. I'll talk to you about it when I get there. My plane is leaving soon.

/

Alfred;

Fine, fine okay. Whatever the bloody hell you want. Just get your damn ass over here and _remove Belarus from my property for the love of God._

I have a good reason now thank you very much,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. No, seriously. Hurry. I don't think my door is going to last much longer and it's illegal for me to carry a gun.


	15. Russia II

Dear Arthur,

Why would I want to kill you, da? Have I any reason to dislike you? Kolkolkol... As for the part about Amerika, why not ask him yourself, da?

You can deny it, but it doesn't change anything.

What Belarus does is beyond my control... believe me.

By the way, I tried some of your rum the other day. It was practically water. Perhaps you should try taking up vodka, da?

Ivan Braginski A.K.A Russia, with love~

/

Russia,

What goes on in your mind is beyond my comprehending. And now is not really the time, I am currently trying to make very little sound whilst hiding.

No seriously, not going to.

The stuff makes my eyes burn, no thanks.

Hating you,

Arthur Kirkland


	16. Alfred VIII

Artie,

Don't worry! I just got here! I need to get to you're house though. Hide in your bathroom, and your hero will come to your rescue!

...after he gets out of baggage claim!

Your Hero,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. Does that mean I'm going to get arrested?

/

Alfred,

Jesus Christ Alfred, _now is not the time to be making jokes. Hurry your ass up she's in the bloody house._

Hiding,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. WTH is Russia talking about?


	17. The Bermudas II

Dear England,

Ah, it was quite traumatic. We still have the (physical and mental) scars to prove it and the nightmares.*sniff* I am sorry if part of this is smudged by the tears. I think that it is only fair to call you our dad since you did raise us and without you we would fall apart. Also thank you for telling America to keep a distance. As much as I love him as a brother he needs to understand that he can't fix every problem that occurs. We just need sometime to heal and to make sure "he" never shows up on our island again because what he did has broken our law and the laws that we have as nations. I hope you do not mind that as I send this we are on a flight to you now. Maybe tomorrow we could have some tea possibly? Anytime tomorrow will be fine with use we were just going to visit London first. Yeah maybe it would not be the best to visit Scotland, Ever. We hope to see you soon.

With a lot of Love,

Alice and Alyssia Kirkland (The Bermuda twins/The Bermudas)

/

Dear Alice and Alyssia,

Yes, I'm sorry that you had to go through that. How that man ever came into power is astonishing...I apologize for Alfred, he really does mean well you know, but his concept of personal space is lacking. He just wants to make you two feel better. Er, it's not particularly a problem, but Alfred's over at the moment. (Belarus problems...) I try to get him to go back home (or at least out of the house for a while) if you and Alyssia don't want to see him though. I promise he'll behave though.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	18. America IX

Artie,

I'm on my way over now, just stay hidden! Your hero will be there any minute!

Hurrying,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. He's being a stalker about something that happened during the Cold War. Ignore him. It's nothing for you to worry about at the moment.

/

Alfred,

Yes, yes I know. You're already bloody here and insisting that I respond when you're in the bloody next room you git. Geez, you can be so foolish sometimes. By the way, Alice and Alyssia wish for you to leave them alone for the time being. I know you just want to be a hero but give them space. [strike] Not everybody finds your suffocating affection as endearing as I do.[/strike] And for the love of God, don't message me back you git. You're in my bloody house.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Hm...


	19. Prussia II

Hey!

It wasn't that I couldn't win against her! I am awesome after all. I LET her win cuz I'm such a nice and awesome person. You could learn a thing or two from me! But man are chicks WERID! And you're right I don't appreciate your cooking. It's hard to a appreciate something that has the potential to be radioactive, biohazard waste.

Knows you're lying and that talking to me has made your day awesome,

Prussia

P.S. and you agree that talking to me is lucky! In fact you said it was 'incredibly lucky'!

/

Prussia,

First of all, it is _extremely_ rude not to properly address a person at the beginning of a letter. And I severely doubt that you would need to go easy on Hungary in order for her to win, or that you would go easy on her if you did. (Screw you)

Finds you extremely infuriating and wishes you would leave me alone,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Have you ever heard of something called sarcasm?


	20. Russia III

Dearest Arthur,

I'm not a very complicated person, da, but keeping that in mind, I'll try to talk slower when speaking to you face to face, so you do not fall behind the conversation, da.~

I do hope Amerika can come to your rescue before Belarus kills you though. I lent her my good pipe and I can't have her getting it dirty, da.

I'll humor you for now and let you hold on to that semblance of denial.

I always knew you were a lightweight. Don't worry, da, it's an acquired taste.

Best of luck,

Ivan R Braginsky

P.S. I can't figure out a good way to sign my letters. How's this one sound?  
Not as cold as yours, I'm sure, da.

/

Russia,

I don't have trouble following what you say, I have trouble figuring out why you suddenly want me dead. And you might want to come pick your sister up, Alfred shot her a few times and then dumped her somewhere. I don't think she's dead (unfortunately) but she might be out for a while. Dunno what he did with your pipe though.

No, seriously. Never.

(Didn't listen when France said that about caviar, not listening when you say it about vodka)

Don't Want It,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Not as cold as my _what_?


	21. Canada I

Dear Mère,

Please read this letter! It's_ urgent_!

I was at America's house, and found a note that he was going over to your place. I started looking through his stuff, for a picture to show Cuba that we're different people, and found a receipt!

It was a receipt from a jewelry store for a ring, and it had little wedding bells at the bottom! It was... adorable.

It was dated for a year ago though, why would he be carrying around a ring for a year?

Love,

Matthew Williams

P.S. I'm CANADA if you don't remember correctly!

* * *

Dear Matthew,

Please, _stop_ calling me your mother. _And why the hell should I care? I don_'_t bloody know why the hell he's carrying around a ring okay!_

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Yes, I know. (For the moment)


	22. Prussia III

Whatever Iggy! (America taught me that one!)

Aren't you doing the same thing by just going 'Prussia'? You should fix your own letter writing first before ragging on someone else's. You do this crap with your boyfriend too? And I don't NEED to go easy on Hungary it's  
a choice. I'm deciding to let her win. She should thank me for it. Or better yet bow down before my awesomeness! Yeah…that's a nice mental image there.

Finding the comment refreshing and has no intention of leaving you alone cuz it's fun to piss you off,

The Awesome Prussia

P.S. yes I know what sarcasm is I use it all the time in regards to SOMEONE's life-stealing cooking.

* * *

Prussia,

Do. **Not**. Call. Me. Iggy. Traditionally people start letters with the name of the recipient, and in more familiar ones an adjective describing what the person means to them. (Normally 'Dear'.) In formal letters or letter with someone with whom it would be quite rude to day what they mean to you, it is generally the recipient's name alone. [strike]And Alfred is not my bloody boyfriend![/strike] I have no idea whom you are talking about. Once again, I doubt you would need to _let_ her win; she's stronger, smarter, quicker; need I go on? (Yeah, you wish...)

Is about to block your email if you don't stop being so annoying,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Well, it appears you lack the intelligence to recognize it. And my cooking has never _killed_ anyone thank you very much.


	23. Texas III

Dear Arthur,

No, I'm sure I was wasted. I had 5 bottles of Vodka and 6 bottles of Rum before I went over there. Well geeze sorry! Most of the time it was there I thought Mexicans were breaking into my house until I actually fucking saw it. Then, I tried taking it to one of my ranches..it refused to leave so I just left it there. I do treat my pets right! I had a dog for the longest time before it died of old age...I'm not buying anymore dogs. It just wouldn't be the same.

No, Mexico learned not to stalk me a long time ago. Unless one day he forgets his place.

-Texas-

P.S.I guess. Cold weather pisses me off too. So imagine PMS during winter time. Thats when I get the most dead bodies. I think I may possibly have a psychological disorder...I need to check that out.

* * *

Texas,

Hm. Just set up a time and date for me to pick her up, but it will take quite alot of Cheerios to get her to trust another human. I'm very sorry about you dog problems, truly. Glad to hear it I guess.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Yes, I do belive you have a mental disease. It's called CBD; Compulsive Bitch Disorder

* * *

**Sorry Artie's being so mean to you Texas! You shouldn't have mentioned Spain and Al doing it! XD**


	24. France I

Chers Angleterre,

Oh ho! So mon petit lapin is recieving these quaint letter aussi, non? Tres magnifique! You are simply too adorable for your own good! You will let me come and tease your eyebrows for you soon, oui? They are really out of control.

Of course I can tease more than that if you let me. Je t'aime mon adorable tsundere. ;)

Le plus sincèrement,

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

Why, out of everyone out there, did _you_ have to find this? Do _not _call me adorable. _No_ you cannot do _anything_ to my eyebrows (Which are _perfectly fine, thank you very much_). And I don't even want to think about those last sentences.

Back off or I'm filing another restraining order,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Leave. Me. The. Fuck. Alone.

* * *

**Um...France? Did you read any of the America letters or the rules? OvO I don't have a problem with you flirting with Iggy, I just want to make sure you know that it's not real FrUK and don't expect me to flirt back...This letter made me crack up. XD**


	25. Prussia IV

Dear Iggy, (see I started with dear to make you happy wasn't that nice and awesome of me?)

You know you sounded JUST like a grammar school teacher with the boring lecture. All strict and no fun at all and act like they have a stick up their ass.

And you know you can try to strike it out but I can read it. And I don't remember mentioning Alfred at all with that. So I wonder how his name just popped in there.

Wondering if you even know how to block emails,

Prussia

P.S. Sie sind ein Arschloch. Google it.

* * *

Prussia,

_**Do not call me Iggy.**_ Personally I don't give a damn if you call me 'dear'. It's creepy. I don't think you'd want to see me as a grammar school teacher, you might cry. And shut up. Somebody keeps breaking my backspace key and stealing all my pencils. I don't bloody know how his name got in there, it just did.

I'm sure I could figure it out,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Up yours.


	26. France II

Chers Angleterre,

Oh but mon petit oiseau you wound me! How could you not be thrilled to have recieved a letter from your wonderful big brother France? And you are very adorable, aside from those giant caterpillars you have growing above your pretty green eyes. Really Angleterre, you cannot be serious thinking that they are fine as they are! Ah but no matter, you are still mon adorable tsundere.

And mon petit amour, if you do not think about such things how will I ever be able to get through your bedroom door? Ah but never fear, l'amour will find a way!

Oh but Angleterre you are too cruel... *sigh* Oh, but mon petit Mathieu has told me that he has found a wedding ring at that cochon America's house, was it for you perhaps? To think that cochon has taken mon petit tsudere away...

But naturally you will give me all the details of your sordid nights together, oui?

Voulez tu coucher avec moi ce soir?

Francis Bonnefoy

P.S. What restraining order has ever stopped my brand of love mon cher? You will be seeing me in your bed with America very soon, non?

* * *

Francis,

Stop with the bloody pet names. And the fact that you would call yourself my older brother and then suggest I sleep with you in the same letter is _very_ disturbing. You're as bad as Scotland. Shut your bleeding face. There's nothing bloody wrong with my eyebrows! And I'm not 'your' _anything_! I don't think about them because I don't _want _you within 100 feet of my _home_, much less my _bed._ And I don't bloody love you you twat.

_I have no idea what you're talking about._ And don't call him a pig! And no! Not that that's even happening!

**No, I will _not_,**

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Never unfortunately. I can still bloody try. _And I will not be seeing either of you anywhere thank you very much._


	27. Canada II

Dear Arthur,

Fine, It's just a force of habit... Papa never complains...

You should care! You know exactly why he has an engagement ring. He's had it for a year, Arthur!

A year! He's been putting it off to ask SOMEONE to marry him.

And I think you know who I mean by SOMEONE.

Don't break his heart,

Matthew Williams

P.S. Please try remembering me. It's tiring only being seen by Papa, Alfred, and Prussia.

* * *

Dear Matthew,

Francis never complains becuase he's a bloody pervert Matthew. _DO NOT_ put me in the same category as him. In _anything._

_I have no idea what you mean._

Totally not relevant,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I try Matthew, I normally remember when I get your letters at least.


	28. Canada III

Dear Arthur,

Yes Papa is a pervert, but he's my Papa! I have to love him, whether he wants in my pants or not...

You're in denial, Arthur. I hope you don't think you can stay in denial when he's kneeling there on one knee, waiting for your answer, with a beautiful ring in a red velvet box.

Will you be able to say "no" then?

Sincerely,

Matthew Williams

P.S. I'm glad for that at least. I need to quit reading those romance novels you suggested to me. I'm getting dramatic!

/

Dear Matthew,

No, you _do not _have to love him. I don't think anyone's capable to be honest. Don't strain yourself.

Er…I suddenly feel quite ill. Looks like we'll have to cut this conversation short. Such a shame.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	29. France III

Chers Angleterre,

Ah but MON petit chou, it is too amusing imagining those ugly catipillars furrowing in anger every time I pen one of my many, MANY little endearments to you, how could I ever stop? Et MON petit frère, you should know that l'amour crosses all boundaries, as you and your *cough* little brother America have shown ne pas?

Oh and speaking of your lovely brother Scotland, I had him over just last week and we had a very amusing night indeed. Did you know he's a foot fetishist? I never would've guessed looking at him, and I am the master of l'amour! But I suppose Germany and Japan may have me beaten as master of fetishes... and perhaps you as well Angleterre? I still offer you the title of the world's pervert, if you should ever wish to take it on!

Et MON cher, you are most certainly my everything, just as I am yours. That is how it is in when two are in l'amour! But do not worry, I will soon have you panting beneath me and begging me to show you what it is to be truly loved by the French! You must want me MON cher, why else would you call your condoms 'French Letters'? You obviously wish to think of me during your most intimate moments!

Ah mon Angleterre, always in such denile. Mon parfait petit tsudere. ;D Well I am not disappointed, I will be sure to draw all details from your lips between your moans of my name!

My, my, always such denile! I know you will eventually!

Me permettre de voir votre bout,

Francis Bonnefoy

PS. Try try away MON amant hésitant, I love a challege! It will be like that charming cartoon of that American cochon, with that devonaire french skunk chasing the ever fleeing black kitten! I will see you soon MON petit chat!

* * *

Francis,

Are you going to make me say this every goddamn letter? I am _not_ yours (and no amount of emphasis will cange that), I'm not any kind of small animal, _and my eyebrows look fine_. And he's not really my damn brother, as he has gone to great lengths to prove. _And shut up._

I was, unfortuantely aware. I would tell you he had pretty much every STD ever, but I think you already have everything he's got and more. No, and _do _not want to take the damn title, I'll _never _want to ,and no, we call them 'french letters' becuase we think you're all disgusting whores who use the damn things everyday.

Just...ew. I think I might gag. I won't. Seriously, I won't.

That only works on Italy,

Arthur Kirkland.

P.S. Ew. I might consider giving Switzerland a call at this rate...

* * *

**Hey guys! Sorry for not updating. I can't garuntee that I'll start up again either, I'm doing this at school. ^^;; I have ALOT going on right now, and I don't get home until late. And then once I get home I have homework and chores to do, so I can't get on the computer until late. And by then, I really don't feel like responding to anything. Plus, I'm trying to get RomaHeta up, so I'm working on that during most of my free time. ;A;**


	30. Prussia V

Dear Darling Iggy (see! Sarcasm!),

Oh! So you could be a grammar school teacher? That explains how you act all the time. Wow, I don't know who's been breaking your backspace key and stuff but kudos to them! Maybe it's one of your imaginary friends doing it. By the way if you and Al ever hook up be sure to make France proud!

Betting you're going to blow up the computer before you can figure it out,

Prussia

P.S. About what you said before about not killing people with your cooking, don't you have all those spy networks and stuff? It would be possible for you to kill someone and then cover it up. Maybe I should be careful about what I say to you. You could kill with your cooking and no one would know.

* * *

Prussia,

Yes, I imagine I could be. And if by 'the way you act all the time' you mean not a blundering idiot with horrible grammar, then yes, that is why I act like that. Ugh, I have no idea. It might have been Peter, the little brat. And they wouldn't do that you git. WILL PEOPLE STOP BLOODY TALKING ABOUT ALFRED ALREADY?

Even if I can't figure it out, I do now how to work a search engine,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. You're being completely- Actually, yes. You should really stop annoying me so much or I might force-feed you a scone.


	31. Massachusetts I

Dear...uh...England?

Hey, it's me Carrie (AKA Massachusetts) and I have a quick question. To be honest I have two...

Well first off, What do I call you? I heard some of my siblings call you "Uncle" and I heard Dad once say mom. I'm have no idea what to do. I don't want to offend you but then I heard about some other stuff and I'm lost.

My second one is how do I people to stop thinking I'm nuts? I can see Faeries and everything but Dad just said I was delusional. Some of the others say the same thing! Would cursing them be bad?

Help please,

Carrie Jones

* * *

Dear Massachusetts,

Just call me England. Ignore whatever Alfred says to you, he's just being a git. What 'other stuff' are you talking about? ...I get the sneaking suspicion that I shouldn't have asked that.

People, unfortunately, are very close-minded. If they have it in their head that fae don't exist then they shall always call those with sight mentally ill. Just ignore them, as long as you know they're real it doesn't matter what they say about it. Although, I'd refrain cursing them. It causes nasty complications later on.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	32. Canada IV

Not letting go that easy Arthur!

Please, why won't you listen? He LOVES you! Why can't you just see that? I have no idea what's stopping him. He's probably wondering if you feel the same, so just tell him!

Tell him you love him, or if he's just your f*ck buddy (pardon my french), he must be sick of wondering and waiting... I'd imagine it's depressing, wondering if the person you care about the most is in love or lust with you...

Dramatically,

Matthew Williams

P.S. I will not try to strain myself with Papa.

* * *

Dear Matthew,

*cough* Um...sorry still sick. Can't talk. [strike]I need to make up a better excuse for running away from my problems...[/strike]

[strike][strike][strike]...and he's not just my fuck buddy...[/strike][/strike][/strike]

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	33. S Korea I

England,

Hi there! Wow, we haven't talked in forever! How've you been? Me? I'm fine, just... fine.. Okay, maybe not as fine as I could be. Um, you're a romantic country, right? Do you think you could help me out with a love interest? It's, um, well, it's Hong Kong actually. And since he was living at your house all that time, you'd know him better than most countries, right? So,will you help me with this?

Sincerely,

Im Yong Soo

* * *

Dear Korea,

Hello, and I don't think we've talked in...ever. At least, not outside of meetings. And...I'm not really a romantic country, I don't even know where you got that from. I can try to help you I guess though. Oh...Hong Kong, really? That's...nice I guess. And I never really spent too much time with him actually, I was really busy trying to take over the world and all that rubbish. [strike]And everytime I had an extra day or two I was visiting America...[/strike] Ask China...he's been hanging out with him alot lately...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	34. Russia IV

Priviet Comrade.

It's been a couple days since I wrote to you, da. I'll have you know that I retrieved Belarus and put her safely in a closet, in an abandoned house, in Spain no less (the farther away the better, da) and she still somehow managed to get out. But she hasn't broken in again yet, so all is still well.

I've heard from unmentionable sources about some of the other letters the nations are sending you, da. This must be getting tiring. I heard Texas say something about cold winters. In your next letter to her, please slap her for me, da.

I also hear things about a certain wedding ring. Well, you caught me... It's mine, da! Well, it was mine. I proposed to Alfred again. It warms me to think he still has that thing. We will be one yet. Want to join? Perhaps I should ask Francis...

Anyway, I hope you are doing well comrade. Please tell Matvey that his back door is open and some snow is getting in, da.

Best Wishes from Mother Russia.

* * *

Russia,

Bloody good for you then. I hope she forges your signature on a marriage contract, comes back, rapes you, and births your children.

Yes it is tiring, I'm closing in on 40 at this point. And I think that was Rhode Island, not Texas. And no, I'd rather not slap her.

...No comment.

...Will do.

Worrying for Matthew's safety,

Arthur Kirkland


	35. Texas IV

Dear Arthur,

How about you just get your ass over here? It's at my house in Houston, I'm about to leave so just come get it even if I'm not home. It's fine.

-Texas-

P.S. Nope I don't think I have that. Something worse probably, I'm actually getting more violent and I don't know why. I'm starting to scare myself.

* * *

Texas,

Fine, fine, whatever. Leave the key under the mat or tie her up outside. I'll get on a flight as soon as I can.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Maybe you have that _and_ something else? You're showing all the symptoms.


	36. Prussia VI

Dear Ig,

Yeah, I get it! You don't want me to call you Iggy cuz it's your boyfriend's pet name for you. Aww! Ain't that sweet! ;)

And I know that the only reason that you insult me is because you can't deny my awesomeness so I accept your apology. And of course your imaginary friends wouldn't do it! It maybe because they're I don't know…not real? And there's no way you'd be able to force feed me a scone, I'm WAY to awesome for that!

With love (kidding!),

Prussia

P.S. If it is Peter doing it tell him Prussia will send him a batch of GOOD German-style cookies that West made.

* * *

Prussia,

Ugh. Better I guess. _He's not my bloody boyfriend you twat._

No, I insult you becuase your ego is insanely out of proportion and needs to be beaten down before it comsumes us all. [strike]They totally are real![/strike] Oh, you'd be surprised. I've been force-feeding scones to people longer than you've been alive lad.

With animosity,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Tell him yourself.


	37. France IV

Chers Angleterre,

Oui you will have to continue for I never give up in the pursuit of l'amour, mon tsudere. Et amende, amende, I will leave your eyebrows alone... I suppose they do offer you some kind of character, and it seems your cochon L'Amérique is not put off by them and that is of course what matters to you, ne pas? As for the small animal metaphors, how could I not compare you to cute lapin when I hardly saw you without one when we were young? What ever happened to that lapin anyway Angleterre? You seemed quite attached to the thing and then one day I came by and it was gone...

Oh mon Angleterre, is this why you are afraid to sleep with me? I assure you I am completely free of STDS! Have you really forgotten that nations only get sick if their economy is in trouble? Silly Angleterre, well if THAT's all the problem is, I will be more than happy to stop by and put your little fears to rest once and for all! As for your 'whore' comment, why would you call the act of making love to be in any way disgusting? You are so old fashioned, I remember when you were a deliquent in your pirate days, so forceful were you then! If you did not drink so much during that time you would remember the nights you pinned MOI to the sheets, I only wish to return the favour!

Though perhaps I might stop if you give into that cochon's cloddish advances... remember if you ever need advice on l'amour you can always come to me, I am the country of romance after all! But if you continue to deny... hon hon hon hon...

Je serai à votre fenêtre ce soir,

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

Ugh. You're so think-headed. And shut up about Alfred already! I swear the next person who meantions the words 'Alfred', 'America' or 'ring' is getting blocked! And it died Francis, al long, _long_ time ago. Rabbits don't live as long as normal humans, let alone nations.

And no, that's not why I don't want to sleep with you. I don't want to sleep with you becuase I despise you and refuse to give you the satisfaction. And Scotland got them. I don't know how, I don't know why, but he has STDs. You might want to get tested again. 'Making love' isn't disgusting. Shamlessly fucking with anything that moves is. And shut up! I was drunk!

SHUT UP ALREADY.

Closing the curtains,

Arthur Kirkland


	38. Canada V

Arthur,

You need get that cold checked out, we don't need you getting sick. Now do we? (you really DO need a better excuse, Arthur.) I should call Alfred and tell him you're ill, he's too stupid to realize it. (really, really stupid...)

I'm glad to hear that you just don't just want him to screw you into a wall all day! You do know that I can still read the strikes, no matter how many times you cross them out!

Love,

Matthew Williams

* * *

Dear Matthew,

Yes, I guess I'll go to the doctors or something. But he might ban me from answering email from Canadians or something. *cough* _Don't you dare._

Shut up,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Oh, by the way. You're at Alfred's house, right? Well, you might want to stay over at Germany's house with Prussia for a while. And not go home. And tell Prussia that he may or may not have to kill Russia.


	39. Russia V

UK.

Your letters are getting increasingly less enjoyable to read, da. Has anyone ever told you what a sick minded мудак you are? I doubt even France would say something so vulgar. It reminds me of just how immature you are, despite you're evident superiority complex, da.

Your innability to form an appropriate response is disheartening also, however I am willing to forgive you if you become one with me, da. If you refuse, I shall simply go after Mathew as well, since his doors still seem to be unlocked.

Were you aware he keeps a little Union Jack flag tucked under his pillow right beside the Acadian one? How sweet, da... and horribly misguided. Tell Alfred to give my my ring back, so I can scare Toris with it.

До позже,

Russian Federation

* * *

Russia,

Oh, I'm sorry that my letters stopped being enjoyable to you. Such a shame. Maybe you should stop writing back then? Sorry, but I'm afraid I must decline. Again.

Arthur Kirkland


	40. America X

Dear Artie,

OMG MATTIE TOLD ME YOU WERE SICK! Are you okay? Stay in bed, and try not to cook anything. I'm coming over there to take care of you!

Artie~! Why didn't you tell me that you were sick! I would of come over hours ago! You never tell me anything, but what ever. I'm buying tickets now!

Also Russia's been sending me crap, and Belarus has been sending me death threats... I don't know why though. If she (or Russia) get anywhere near you, I'll beat there asses with their own pipe.

Love

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. How's that ring fitting Artie? ;)

* * *

Alfred,

No, I'm fine. Just ignore him. I didn't tell you anything because I'm not bloody sick you wanker! Ugh, it's too late to stop you now isn't it? Fine, get your ass over here.

Oh and about that...I kinda pissed off Russia. Alot. So he might send Belarus after me again.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Oh bloody- FINE, ALRIGHT? IT FITS FINE YOU BLOODY WANKER! [strike]You and your big mouth...[/strike]


	41. S Korea II

England,

Oh, I guess you don't remember helping me in the 1940s... Um, no, it's okay! There was a lot going on at that time, da-ze~!

Anyways, come on, England! We all know you're a hopeless romantic! And Aniki keeps changing his locks, so you're the second best person to come to for advice about Hong Kong! Come on, I know you know him better than you're leting on. So what if he wasn't your favorite (because we all know who was), he still lived with you all those years! You're the only one I can count on right now.

South Korea

P.S.

Did you know letters origionated in me? It's true, da-ze~!

* * *

Korea,

Well, yes, I do remember, but that was our contries more than us two personally...

Oh, put a sock in it. I am not. And perhaps you could _ask_ instead of trying to break in? The locks are probably for Russia, not for you. And um...he likes fireworks? You could come up with something romantic (and probably illegal) with that I'm sure...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. ...Sure they did.


	42. Texas V

Dear Arthur,

I lost my key so the door is unlocked. Just walk in. Also, watch out for the trap door.

Now that I have that problem fixed. How do you handle faeries? I always ask them to not bother me but they do anyways. I think any form of magic thing hates me or something. Those things are the reason Alfred thinks Ineed meds...imaginary my ass.

-Texas-

P.S. How about you just drop the subject? I'll go see one of those people that know those sort of things. I forget what they're called.

* * *

Texas,

You forgot to mention the spikes and the rabid dog. Crazy bitch. Anyway, I have her now. You can stop worrying about it.

You don't 'handle' faeries, you avoid pissing them off in the first place. They probably take issue with the way you've been treating that unicorn. And you _do _need madication, just not the kind Alfred's thinking of.

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. They're called psychiatrists. And surprisingly I don't think that you're rencent bad mood has anything do with any mental illness you may or may not have. Those faeries that are mad at you cursed the shit out of you and your home. I'd find a way to appease them before they pull out the big guns.


	43. Prussia VII

Dear Ig,

If he's not your boyfriend they why do you always talk about him?

You just want me beaten down cuz you're scared of my awesomeness. Plus there's NO way in hell I will let you stuff a scone down my throat, that's just not happening.

Thank you!,

Prussia

P.S. are you on any medication? Cuz if not then you really need to be.

* * *

Prussia,

I don't always bloody talk about him!

And no, I'm not scared of your 'awesome' there are much more terrifying things in the world. You know, such as bees and butterflies and small children. All those things are so much more frightening. And I don't think you'd have a choice. If you resist there are 28 pressure points that can easily knock a person out.

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. No I'm not. Are you?


	44. France V

Chers Angleterre,

Thick headed! Is that a double entendre? If so I applaud and thank you! Oh, and I'm sorry for your petit lapin, it was so cute... just like you were in that little dress I got you, do you remember that? You practically begged me to let you have it when I threatened to take it away! Ah, memories...

Are you... sure about Scotland? Th-that does not make sense but... but perhaps I will get checked to be safe...

Oh, and every time I fuck I am filled with sweet l'amour, so it is always making love when you are with me! ESPECIALLY when YOU are with me mon petit Angleterre... Ah désolé, désolé, I cannot help myself.

As for being drunk, that may be true, but you cannot keep telling me it was an accident when you slapped my butt on your ship deck! I know flirting when I see it and I pay it back a thousand fold!

How can I shut up when you complain so adorably?

Les rideaux peuvent être déchirés et le verre peut être cassé,

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

NO it is NOT. SHUT UP YOU BLOODY WANKER.

Yes I'm bloody sure. He only complains about it 24/7. Yeah, maybe you should. Have fun with herpes frog.

You're digusting. And if you're so bloody sorry _learn_ how to help yourself. And just...shut up. I was _always_ drunk back then.

Well, you could try closing your mouth.

That's it. Calling your boss,

Arthur Kirkland


	45. Onikawa I

Dearest Igirisu,

Konichiwa Arthur-sama! I'm Okinawa. Call me Sachiko. My big brother Nihon said you can see spirits! Is that true? And if so, will you come to my country to see if you can see a Kijimuna? I would greatly appreciate it if you would, and I cannot wait for your response. I'm sure it will be a great pleasure sending letters to you. Bye-bye, Arthur-san.

Kokorokara,

Sachiko

* * *

Dear Shachiko,

Hello, it's a pleasure to meet you. Yes it's true (though I don't really think Japan belives that...), I love to go see if I can see this Kijimuna fellow. I've met a couple of Japanese spirits before and they seem to be nice blokes. I'm a bit busy at the moment though [strike]Alfred, get _off._ I'm trying to _write_.[/strike] But we'll definately have to arrange it sometime.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	46. America XI

Artie!

LOL, you really like lying to Mattie, don't you!

You pissed him off again! Am I gonna have to start ANOTHER Cold War? Don't worry Iggy, I just got off the plane and I'm on my way over! (again!) Maybe I should just move in! wouldn't that be fun Iggy?

Your Fiancée

Alfred F. Jones 3

P.S. Glad to hear that! When we gonna start planning the wedding? ;D

* * *

...Dear Alfred,

Oh shut it. I couldn't think of anything better to say.

Hey! I didn't do anything the first time! And he started it! And no. You already ignore your job enough you wanker...

(Not saying it...not saying it...) Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. SHUT IT ALREADY. WE CAN TALK ABOUT IT LATER!


	47. Canada VI

Dear New Brother-in-Law,

Alfred JUST told me that you said yes! Here you are just acting like you don't know anything about it! I swear you tsundere countries are just... ugh.

R...Russia is after me? DAMN IT ARTHUR! (sorry for cursing!) I'll call Prussia now and bribe him with pancakes, Maple syrup, and calling him "The Awesome Prussia" the whole time I'm there.

Thanks alot,

Matthew Williams

P.S. Papa is my new favorite.

* * *

Dear Matthew,

...Shut your face. And sorry.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Whatever.


	48. Massachusetts II

Dear England,

Oh the "stuff"? Oh well, it nothing really! Dad is just weird as usual, that all!

So about the curse? Are you sure because it's annoying me and just turning thier hair green for a week couldn't be that bad later. Then again, I could just trip them into the pool and...

I just got an amazing idea! Thanks for the help! Oh, and Dad says you should come over sometime!

Hope to see you,

Carrie Jones

* * *

Dear Massachusetts,

Tell me what Alfred's been saying to you _now_ or there will be bad things. _Very_ bad things.

Yes I'm sure. Cursing never goes to well for anyone... I'm glad you got an idea that _doesn't_ involve cursing people, though I'm not to sure how I helped. And you father's _here_ at the moment, so I don't see any real point to going over there.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	49. Colorado I

Dear England,

Hello, this is Savannah, or Colorado to be specific. I just wanted to say congrats with my Father! I just hear from everyone else that you finally said yes to his proposal. So, should I call you "Mother", or "Mum" from now on? You should visit us sometime...or maybe not yet. It's winter for us here now, and even though it's sunny right now, who knows when the snow will come to freeze us over...

Anyway, can't wait for the wedding, have you picked out a date for it yet? Well, I better get off the computer now, I got to meet for a snowboarding race. See you!

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones

The State of Colorado

* * *

Dear Colorado,

Oh bloody hell. Alfred and his big mouth. At least Francis hasn't heard about it yet...Ugh.

_No. You should not_.

And like I told your sister, Alfred is currently pestering the ever-loving daylights out of me _here_, so maybe another time I'll come over.

NO. WE HAVEN'T. NOW STOP BLOODY MENTIONING IT!

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Good luck lass.


	50. France VI

Chers Angleterre,

ZUT ALORE I DID NOT THINK IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR NATIONS TO CONTRACT HERPES! S-surely it will not last forever though? I-I mean we are nations! S-surely... surely it cannot last! I will put all the French scientists and doctors on task to look for a cure! Er, if I have it... which I still have not checked because... because... mon deiu I don't know, I just don't want to have herpes!

C-can you come with me to the doctor's? I do not want to go alone, I need emotional suppose from my darling petit frere! I know my boss came by recently and told me to stay away from you, but you must do this for me, I promise I will not ask you for anything else, I just cannot stand the idea of waiting for the results all alone with no one to weep into, and I do not have to fear losing face in front of you mon Angleterre because your opinion of me cannot possibly sink any lower!

S'il vous plaît venez avec moi!

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

Dear God man, calm down! From the way you're going on you'd think you already knew you had it! Fine, fine, I'll go with you! Just pull yourself together Francis! There's no point in going if you're going to pass out on the way there!

I will, don't worry,

Arthur Kirkland


	51. Prussia VIII

Dear Ig,

Uh, yeah you do! Just about every letter you sent back to me mentions him.

HAHAHAHA! YOU'RE SCARED OF BUTTERFLIES! Not even the Italy brothers are scared of those! Yeah sure there's 28 pressure points, but I doubt you know a single one. :P

Gracing your day with awesomeness once again (and you're welcome for it),

Prussia

P.S. 'course not! …but are you sure about you?

* * *

Prussia,

I do not mention Alfred every bloody letter! ...This doesn't count!

No, I do not suffer from mottephobia, or even apiphobia or pedophobia. It was an insult. If I don't fear them, but I say that they're scarier than you... Do you understand now or do I need to spell it out more clearly?

I don't need to. I have people for that.

Decidedly un-graced,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Yes I'm sure that I don't take any medication. But you should consider taking some for that over-inflated ego of yours. It threatens to consume you. [strike]What the hell does Matthew see in you..?[/strike]

* * *

**Um...if you don't like PruCan, we can say it's onesided. But my Canada asked if I could try to put in some...Seriously though, if you don't like it, say so. 0-0**


	52. Texas VI

Dear Arthur,

...Shit did I install random things while I was piss drunk again? Damn it, there goes my food and booze money for a week. Anyways, sorry 'bout that.

I didn't mean to mistreat that unicorn! I swear! Now I feel bad. I don't need medication!...I'm gonna go sulk now.

-Tex-

P.S. If that's the case then I'm fucked. I think they were only nice to me out of pity anyways. Ever since I stopped being lonely and miserable, they've been pretty much assholes.

* * *

Texas,

Wow, for once I don't feel the need to patronize you. You're forgiven I guess. It's okay lass, stiff upper lip. Sorry that those fae hate you, but there's not much I can do about it. Try planting flowers, they rather like it when people do that...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	53. Oregon I

Dear England,

Um...this is Oregon speaking. I know you might not remember me very well (even though you and Da-I mean Alfred fought over me for 28 years...), but I was kind of hoping for some advice...if it's okay with you I mean...

I'm really really sorry; I tried three times to write to you sooner, but every time I got all nervous and ended up passing out...I need some therapy...

Anyway, I might not be able to write down all of my problems in one letter, so I could be writing to you again soon...

Lately some really weird things have been happening to me: last week my favorite hat blew of my head, and when I finally caught it I ended up falling into the Willamette river. The last time I caught a cold, I sneezed and blew several very important documents out the window. I fall down the stairs about eight times a day, and I had to get my glasses fixed seven times this month. Do you think I've been cursed, or am I just being paranoid?

And if I am cursed, you wouldn't happen to know a way of breaking it would you? I mean, I don't want to be wasting any of your precious time on someone like me...

I also have low self-esteem, but I know I'm beyond help for that particular issue at this point...

I hope to be hearing from you soon, though if don't think I'm worth your time, I'll understand.

Take care now~

Feeling lightheaded,

Emma Nicole Jones (US State of Oregon)

P.S.: Would putting a bucket over America's head during one of his "I'm-the-hero" speeches benefit all those who are listening..?

* * *

Dear Oregon,

Don't act so much like your uncle lass, it's okay. And...don't strain yourself dear, perhaps some water and some Klonopin? It's quite fine, I'd enjoy it if you kept writing to me.

Um...have you annoyed Russia in the past 7 years? If not, you might want to see if your glasses prescription is strong enough, that none of your carpet is loose, buy some Nasonex, and if all else fails plant some flowers. Or maybe your just klutzy.

I noticed. Perhaps we should get you and Matthew in the same room. It might boost both of your confidences.

And of course you're worth my time lass, don't be foolish.

Let's definitely try the Klonopin,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Yes. It would. Not to mention it would be bloody hilarious.


	54. Francis VII

Chers Angleterre,

I know I promised you that I would not continue to send you letters after what happened at the doctor's office but...Je suis désolé mon petit lapin! I truly am! I did not intend to let all of the doctors and patients believe that you were the reason I may have contracted a disease! Well, perhaps I did intend it a little, but you really didn't have to scream at me and throw your scones at my face, they hurt!

Oh, but you ran out too fast to hear and I must tell you the good news! I have NOT contracted herpes! I do have a little inflamation, but it should go away in a day or two and it's barely noticable. But I do not think I will be spending any more nights with your brother. Ah, you can tell him the news, oui? I would but... well... I was never very good at breaking up with people!

But je suis tres désolé, I mean it, I owe you! Ask me for any wish and I shall grant it for you! (Within reason of course) and forgive your big brother France, s'il vous plait?

Merci pour l'attente avec moi, even if I can be... mischievous at times,

Francis Bonnefoy

PS. Ah, mon petit Matheiu has told me that you are marrying Amerique! I would be lying to say I do not feel a tinge of sadness that I am not at the end of the aisle, but I wonder if I may be a part of the ceremony? Your best man perhaps, or is it maid of honour? I would look stunning in a dress or suit you know! Or perhaps instead I couldgive you away? I believe it would be only fitting Angleterre! Hon hon hon... just kidding of couse. I do not wish to be considered an old man until I have to give mon Matheiu away...

* * *

Francis,

Yes, it _was_ quite necessary. See if I ever do anything nice for you again.

Oh, lovely. After that disaster I was hoping you would have it. And no, _you _can tell him. Grow a pair for Christ's sake. And you've done quite enough thank you, apology not accepted.

You're not welcome,

Arthur Kirkland.

P.S. Have I mentioned that I hate Matthew? And no.


	55. Jamacia I

Dear Iggy,

Wha gwan? You barely even vist anymore man. Heh, too tied up with America? Oh well stop by sometimes. It's getting boring with out you fussing on about America and the world over tea. Write back when you can.

I'm gone,

Jamacia

* * *

Jamacia,

_Don't_ call me Iggy, _maybe_ if you were more civil when I visited I would visit more often, _what_ exactly do you mean by 'tied up', and _shut it._ You need to learn the importance of being polite _all _of the time lass, not just when you feel like it.

That _is not_ a proper goodbye,

Arthur Kirkland


	56. France VIII

Chers Angleterre,

Oh poo, you are too mean Angleterre, you know you love me, even if it's simply platonic. Why would you continuously come drinking with me or help on spy mission over the years?

Oh, but I do not wish to get him angry... he can be much more intimidating than you, mon petit. But if I must... perhaps I will send Pierre with a note for him.

And why can I not be a part of the wedding? That is tres unfair! I have known you the longest of any other country save your brothers of the British Isles, and even if our past has been... rocky... I still believe I deserve a place of honour on the most important day of your life!

Je suis belle dans une robe!

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

My behavior is a direct reaction to _yours,_ so if I appear 'mean' you deserve it. And I;ll admit I don't mind spending time with you on ocasion..but most of the time I sincerely wish for you to be struck down by lightning and die.

Whatever. Coward.

The answer's still no.

Didn't need to know that,

Arthur Kirkland


	57. Canada VII

Dear Arthur,

Yeah, you should be sorry. I told Francis about you and Alfred for revenge! Also I'm staying at Prussia's! He says he's been writing you "awesomely" and your letters were extremely "un-awesome" I now have to make pancakes my entire stay here. Which is when Russia cools down, and do you have any idea how long that will take!

A very long time... Eh?

With un-sarcastic love,

Matthew Williams

P.S. Have fun marrying Al! It's totally not scaring to have my motherly figure marry my brother. Nope, not strange at all.

* * *

Dear Matthew,

Oh dear God, now I'm going to have to listen to Prussia too, aren't I? For someone so quiet you sure are vengful...And I don't know what you're complaining about, it's not like you don't make the idiot pancakes everyday anyway...at three in the morning no less.

I have no idea when Russia will calm down, I haven't heard from him in a while. It makes me nervous...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I told you not to call me mum...


	58. Prussia IX

Dear Ig,

Yes you do. You mentioned him at LEAST once in the past seven letters. Don't try to deny it, I know it's true! I'm just awesome like that!

And yeah I get it! You actually ARE scared of them and you're just trying to cover it up by insulting me. Don't worry I can keep your secret…well till I get drunk again.

What people? Your imaginary friends?

Knows you're lying!,

Prussia

P.S. are you sure? I heard from America that you're pretty scattered-brained. And what do you mean 'what does Matt see in me"? I'm awesome! What else does there need to be?

* * *

Prussia,

...

Think what you like lad, think what you like. And have you already forgotten that spy network you mentioned when you _started_ this meaningless conversation? And don't listen to him, he worrys too much. You have jsut proved my point.

Sincerely,  
Arthur Kirkland

* * *

** I update pretty regularly, every weekday around 9:30 to 10:30. That's becuase I have my newspaper class then and we don't do much. But, I do have a deadline coming up so tomorow, and possibly the next day I won't update. I might when I get home, but probably not. XD I almost never update at home becuase I work on my other stuff at home.**


	59. France IX

Chers Angleterre,

Hmm... well fine. If you insist I cannot be a part of the wedding, I insist and throwing you a bachelorette party! No need to ask what I'll plan for it, it will be a surprise! You must enjoy your last moments of single life, non?

Tu sais que je le ferai, même si vous ne me voulez pas à!

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

No. Don't. I don't trust you frog. Especially with surprises. (I swear if this involves chloroform...)

Do it and I'm borrowing Switzerland's gun,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I'm amazed. This is the only letter you've ever sent me uner 100 words.


	60. Colorado II

Dear England ,

(Can I at least call you Papa?)

Of course Daddy has a big mouth. How else would he keep all of us in check? As for France...sorry. Uncle Mattie can be a bit vengeful...hopefully Russia doesn't find him, I'm glad that he's with Prussia right now.

Oh, that's good. I can't wait until you come over and meet the rest of your new family! Are you excited about the wedding? What is Daddy up to anyway? I haven't seen him for a while. I've actually been hoping we could go snowboarding together sometime.

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(a.k.a. Colorado)

P.S. As for the race, it was a blast! I love winning against guys who think girls suck at snowboarding...*smirks*

P.S.S. Oh, and good thing you didn't come over, because this freak snow storm just came...*sigh* It's like we were slapped in the face with it...

* * *

Dear Colorado,

(I'd really prefer it if you just called me England...)

I'm not sure what blabbing stuff I specifically told him _not_ to go telling people about ahs to do with raising children, but I'll take your word for it. Ugh, I hope he's alright too but telling Francis and Prussia was a bit harsh...

I guess that would be fun...Alfred's fine, being annoying as usual while I'm trying to write.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Good for you, I hope you showed then what's what. Sorry about the snowstorm, hopefully it'll clear up soon.


	61. Jamacia II

Dear England

And it's nice to write you too, all sarcasm intended. Civil you say? Define please, beacuase last time I checked my manners are in check. Hmph. You were more fun as a , how are you? Other than permantly grumpy that is.

Peace Out,

Jamaica aka Si'mon

P.S. Iggy Iggy Iggy Iggy Iggy

* * *

Si'mon,

Well most people consider it rude when you toss coconuts and god-knows-what-else at them whenever they visit. I'm fine thank you very much, and I'm not always grumpy. I'm just grumpy around irritating people.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. _Stop it._


	62. Canada VIII

Dear Arthur,

I only get vengeful when I have a point that can't be argued with, and you ignore it! Remember Sealand? Yeah. That's what I thought.

I do NOT make him pancakes everyday. Just when he's in North America. THAT ONLY HAPPENED ONCE!

I hope Russia walks in on Alfred bending you over a couch.

Love,

Matthew Williams

P.S. What ever, Grand-mère.

* * *

Dear Matthew,

Oh shut it. Are you 'hormonal' again or something?

And, considering about 90% percent of the time he seems to be in North America, you _do _make him pancakes everyday. And it happens all the bloody time Matthew, stop lying.

I hope you _are_ 'hormonal'.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Okay, how on _earth_ am I your _grandmother_?

* * *

**I deleted the strike because your not allowed to allude to our RPs _too_ much Dor. Sorry. You _do_ know what I mean by 'hormonal' though, right? XD (Just don't go crazy on it...)**


	63. Oregon II

Dear England,

Thank you for replying to my letter. I kind of feel a little better about writing now...

Well, I kind of remember something about bumping into him and causing him to drop a bottle of vodka...then I remember lying awake that night covered in cold sweat wondering why I wasn't dead yet...I've always been clumsy, but never THIS clumsy...

I've been thinking about trying out some ways to help boost my luck at least a little bit. Do you think talking to the nearest leprechaun colony would help? I've met them before and they're really friendly...I have tons of flowers already...

Am on the medication now,

Oregon

P.S. I think I should try doing that sometime, it would give me something fun to do...

* * *

Dear Oregon,

You're welcome. Calm down a bit lass.

Oh, well he probably cursed you. He does that to Japan alot. It should wear off soon...I think...

Your leprechauns are nice? The ones that hang around the Sean and Serah are vile...bloody ankle biters... The flowers were incase you pissed off faeries like your sister did. The leprechauns might like them though (but they migh apreciate a few bottles of Bailey's or something shiny more) and making any faeries in the vicintiy happy never hurts.

Is it helping?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Just be sure to record it. I'd like a copy.

* * *

**Just so you know, Sean and Serah are Northern Ireland and Ireland. They're twins, but obviously Sean is in the UK and doesn't do much.**


	64. Massachusetts III

Dear England,

Well it's something to do with your initials I think, try asking Japan about it since that's where Dad got the idea. I'm not saying anymore or else I might get in trouble.

Don't worry, some states are just going to get alot of rain. Wait, if he's there then why not ask him youself? Just don't tell him you heard anything from me. If he won't say anything threaten him with your cooking or not take him out to burgers. He'll say anything by then!

From,

Carrie Jones

* * *

Dear Massachusetts,

Oh bloody hell...not this rubbish again...I know what you're talking about now.

...I don't want to know.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	65. Sealand I

Dear Jerk,

You are a jerk, but I want to go to you and Daddy's wedding. If your asking how I know, Daddy told me first. Stop hitting him over the head for a minute and continue reading my letter! Cause I totally know you're doing that.

I want to be the Ring Bearer! I'll look adorable in a little tux and my hat! Btw whose giving you away? You hate all of my uncles, sooooo... what's going to happen?

Also Latvia is visting, and he keeps on shaking! What can I do to make him stop shaking? I've already asked Daddy, and he said give him a hug, but that only made it worse!

Love,

Peter Kirkland

P.S. Tell daddy I said hi! Okay!

* * *

Dear Brat,

Stop calling him your Dad...And I was not thank you very much.

Fine, whatever. Do what you want. And we don't know yet, so shut up. Francis reads these you know...

That's just...what he does. Try distracting him with TV or power rangers or my little ponies or whatever the hell it is you play with...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Alfred says hi...


	66. Rose Wing I

Dear England,

First and formost, the only reason I'm writing to you is because my moronic brother thinks you're amazing, and won't shut up about you. I much prefer your brother. He at least understands me and didn't give me a moronic nickname like "Flying mint bunny".

Honestly, why the hell do you call my brother that? And stop calling yourself "United Kingdom". You are only a fraction of the whole kingdom, as your brother points out.

I wrote you to tell congratulate you. I found out from my brother that you are marrying that alien thing Tony's human companion. When I asked Scotland, he said that was America, so congratulations on marring America.

Sincerly,

Rose Wing(As your brother calls me. And that is not a moronic nickname)

P.S Stop sprerading rumors that Scotland had an STD. He doesn't.

P.P.S I probably should have told you this earlier, but if you hurt my brother, I will make you wish you could die.

* * *

Dear Rose,

Flying Mint Bunny has family? _What?_ Pardon, but he's never mentioned you. Ever. And neither has Scott...

I call him that becuase I named him when I was a child, he has no objections as far as I can tell, so I don't see how it's any of your business. And considering that those three do absolutely _nothing_ but drink, have sex, and generally act like wastes of space, I'd say that I'm the United Kingdom. They don't do their damn jobs, so they don't deserve the title.

Bloody hell, is there _anyone_ who doesn't know about it? Geez Alfred, learn to shut your mouth...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Yes he does. Listen to him drunk, he does nothing but bitch about it.

P.P.S. Duly noted.


	67. Prussia X

Dear Ig,

AH HA! Silence! The Awesome me wins yet again! *Kesese*

I was joking about that spy network..Man! You are WAY too uptight, you know that!

…And about me being about to keep quiet about your secret?...let's just say you'll probably be getting a call or something from France and Spain soon…

Still gracing you with Awesomeness!,

Prussia

* * *

Prussia,

Just..think what you want you wanker. You're impossible.

Yes, but I wasn't. Food for thought. Oh lovely, now I have the entire bloody sex addict trio bothering me. Wonderful.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	68. France X

Chers Angleterre,

Do you have a preference of red or white wine? And don't bother asking, because I won't tell you why, and if you don't tell me then I will simply have to use my best judgement! (Oh, and who spoiled the surprise? Hon hon, je plaisante!)

Ensuite, je vais devoir être plus sournoise!

Francis Bonnefoy

PS. Oh, what a shame mon petit lapin! I shall have to fill up the terrible empty space you pointed out with many more endearments towards you, my adorable petit chou! Your little caterpillar eyebrows will no doubt furrow in anger, but the l'amour I have for you will go on forever!

* * *

Francis,

I don't bloody know. I don't make a habit of drinking rotten grape juice. And tell me Francis, _now_. (You better be joking. Seriously.)

Just...stop being you,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I thought we agreed to leave my eyebrows out of these letters? I shouldn't have bloody said anything...


	69. Norway I

Arthur,

Do not think I am writing for mundane/stupid reasons.

One of my dragons has gone missing. I suggest you keep and eye out for him, because he would probably crush all those wimps you have at your house if he isn't dealt with in time.

Norway

* * *

Norway,

Didn't think you would, since you kind of hate me. Oh bloody hell, I swear if any villages burn down or if Alfred gets killed becuase he thinks he's a bloody hero I'm going to murder you. Round him up already before people get hurt becuase you don't know how to keep your pets in check.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	70. Liechtenstein I

Dear England,

Sorry about Belarus. I'm sure she means well; she's not as scary once you get to know her. (Although Bruder doesn't think so.) Also, Bruder says that he needs his gun, but would be happy to shoot France for you. But I hope he doesn't, because shooting people isn't very nice.

Sincerely,

Liechtenstein

P.S. Congratulations on your engagement!

* * *

Dear Liechtenstein,

I'm sorry dear, but it's quite hard to have much faith in someone's intentions when she was trying to bludgeon you to death with a pipe a week ago. We'll see, maybe he could shoot Francis if he tries to crash the wedding. Right now he's behaving (for him at least) and Alfred's here to shoot him if he acts up.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Dear God, is there _anyone_ who hasn't heard by now?


	71. Jamacia III

Dear Arthur,

That's the poorest lie I've heard all day. You deserve a medal for that. And, please, I don't toss anything at anyone. Oh! And huge congraulations on your engagment. Al just texted me about it an hour ago or something. And I think he's about to tell Hati, too. Or somethin' about that.

Later!

Si'mon

P.S. Okay, no need to get your panties in a bunch.

P.P.S Hati says hello.

* * *

Dear Si'mon,

Well _someone _was tossing stuff at me, someone who looked awfully like you. So unless you have a twin running aroudn that I have no knowledge of, I'm disinclined to believe you. Bloody hell...I would confinscat e his phone but I doubt _anyone_ is in the dark at this point...bloody git...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Good girl.

P.P.S. Tell Hati hello from me too.


	72. Canada IX

Dear Limey,

First of all, shut up.

Second, How is your little brother doing? He's much more enjoyable to converse with than you.

Third, you're my Grand-mème because you're old as sh*t. What on earth does Alfred see in you anyway? It's definitely not cooking skills, or a great personality! I can tell you that much, eh?

Hoping Russia's at your doorstep,

Matthew Williams

* * *

Dear Matthew,

Well, that's a yes. Calm down lad, it's bad for your health. Geez, you're such a girl. Take some vitiamins and put yourself back into a sound mental state before you do something stupid.

_Calm down_,

Arthur Kirkland


	73. Sealand II

Dear Mum,

I'm going to call him that whether you like it or not! I'm going to be an awesome nation one day! One with three dads and one mumsie!

YAY! :D

DO NOT INSULT THE POWER RANGERS AND MY LITTLE PONY! Cause I know that you are. I'm a bloody physic! Also I've tried that. Doesn't work.

Love,

Peter Kirkland

P.S. You're a jerk!

P.P.S. Russia's outside my window. Should I let him in?

* * *

Peter,

Don't call me your mum. And you better bloody be talking about Finland.

You're not physic Peter...I swear you're just as bad as Alfred...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. And you're a brat.

P.P.S. Well, I think you've just found the reason Latvia's shaking. No, do _not_ let him in. Close the curtains, grab Latvia, and then run to either Alfred or Sweden; whichever is closer.


	74. Liechtenstein II

Dear England,

I understand. Just please try not to be too mad about it. Bruder says that he's still willing to shoot Francis. He seems to really want to.. I think he needs a vacation. Or at least some time off.

Sincerely,

Lili Zwingli

P.S. I don't think so. Is that a bad thing?

* * *

Dear Liechtenstein,

Well, it depends on if she plans on trying it again within the near future. Then I don't think it would be very reasonable for me not to angry. He's welcome to if he must...though I do agree that he probably does need to calm down a bit.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Not particularly but...it's a little embarassing. So stop talking about it if you please.


	75. Prussia XI

Dear Ig,

Yeah, I'm impossible…IMPOSSIBLY AWESOME!

Whatever, you're still too uptight. And what's the problem with France or Spain? You know you love us! ;)

Gracing you with awesomeness yet again! (you know it will work someday. Even for you),

Prussia

* * *

Prussia,

Just keep telling yourself that...

They're annoying? One of them is Spain? They're best friends with you so probably lack good judgment? One of them is Francis? Those are all serious problems that need to be rectified before I feel anything but animosity towards you three.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. By the way, would you go visit Matthew? He's having another mental breakdown. See if you can annoy him out of it or whatever it is you do to calm him down.


	76. Colorado III

Dear England,

(Fine, I'll call you England *pout*)

Well, it's more like a game of telephone between us States, so who knows what the hell is being told to California by now. I heard from Oklahoma and it's basically a gossip line.

What did you do to Uncle Mattie? I saw him earlier and he didn't seem...well himself...it was kind of scary!

*laugh* Daddy sure knows how annoy you doesn't he? Well tell him I say hi.

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

P.S. The snow wasn't too much, thank God. I just hope we don't get a freak winter storm in spring like we did a couple of years ago. Yeah, it was fun jumping off the roofs but if that happens I might not be able to get to the wedding!

* * *

Dear Colorado,

(Stop pouting...)

Oh dear God...I don't even want to know what kind of cockbull is going around by now...And I didn't do anything, he just becomes a bit...unstable at times. Try to talk to him, it might calm him down...Yes he does. [strike]But I love him all the same.[/strike] Alfred says hi.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Well, that's good. Don't injure yourself...


	77. Oregon III

Dear England,

Russia scares me...

I think the reason why my leprechauns are so well behaved is because they are all recovering alcoholics...they're an odd bunch, but since over half of them are married I don't think it should be too much of a surprise.

I heard about Texas and the faeries. I've tried talking to them, and whenever they refer to her they use an unusually colorful vocabulary. I kind of feel bad for her...

On the other hand, I have pretty good relations with the faeries; they tend to spend most of their time in the Portland Rose Garden. There are thousands of roses of all kinds there...

Do faeries have any perticular flower that they like best? I'm a little curious...

Gradually,

Oregon

P.S. I gave it a try, and I succeeded! I couldn't tell what his reaction was though, his voice was muffled and I couldn't see his face...I'm enclosing a copy of the video with this letter.

P.P.S. There's been this rumor going around that two nations are going to be married...If you know who they are, could you tell them congratulations for me?

* * *

Dear Oregon,

He scares everyone love...

Um, that doesn't make people pleasant. It makes you grumpy and irritable. Maybe you just have a pleasant bunch. The flowers might help. I hope the flowers help. Because faeries get pretty nasty when aggravated. That place sounds lovely, I can see why they like you so much. They like honeysuckle...or just honey in general.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Good job. I'll watch it as soon as Alfred's asleep.

P.P.S. Um...they say thanks. And considering who the groom is I think your invited to the wedding...


	78. A Brief Interlude  NOTICE READ PLEASE!

**Dear Readers,**

**Okay guys, I have something planned for the 100th letter. I'm trying to update like crazy so we can get there. Because, for this plan to work ASAP, I need to have _at least_ 100 in by probably Wednesday or Thursday of next week. Now, I think we can do it. The first few days I easily got over 20 in two days. So getting to 100 in a week should be easy-peasy if I update. Now, if we don't get there in time don't worry; the next possible time I can do it I will. The next 10 to 15 after the 100th will be the recipients of the 'surprise' or if I have more than that however many have been sent in. One per character though. For any of you over-achievers who really want to bump up the letter count; you can have more than one character sending in letters at a time. My RL best friend is sending in as three people right now. I haven't been paying much attention to usernames, so I probably wouldn't even notice. I only know about her because she always tells me about it.**

**Hope we can make it,**

**Keys2theKingdom AKA 'Arthur Kirkland'  
**


	79. Canada X

Dear Pédé,

YOUR FACE NEEDS TO CALM DOWN! I'm in a perfect mental state Arthur! Just cause you're batsh** insane, doesn't mean I am!

btw UNICORNS DON'T EXIST AND YOUR COOKING TASTE LIKE SOME ONE TRIED TO COOK DOG **** AND BURNED IT!

perfectly fine,

MaTtHeW WiLlIaMs

* * *

Matthew,

No, you are not in a 'perfect mental state'. You're going crazy again. Calm down, take deep breaths, count to ten, and take a nap. Stabbing people is _bad_, so don't talk to anyone but Prussia until you feel less inclined to do so.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Stop scaring Colorado. All she did was ask you if you were feeling all right.


	80. Sealand III

Dear, MUMMY!

I'm most definately not talking about Fin-papa, MUMSIE! :D

I'M TOTALLY THE BLOODY HERO! Right Mumsie?

Love,

Peter Kirkland

Aka the Bloody Hero

P.S. Okay, I ran down stairs, but I heard the glass shatter. What should I do? Could you get daddy for me?

* * *

Dear Peter,

Not your mum...Not your mum...

Sure, whatever. You've been hanging around Alfred too much lad.

Just...hide in a closet until Alfred gets there okay? You might here gunshots and breaking glass, but just make sure neither of you go outside until Alfred says so, okay?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	81. France XI

Chers Angleterre,

Oh you silly thing. Well I'm not using tea, that is far too hot for my delicate skin!

Oops, was that a hint? Oh well, I know you'll enjoy it once we get you drunk enough!

Si pas me, qui?

Francis Bonnefoy

PS. Oh, vrai, this is very true. Remember to use words wisely mon Angleterre!

* * *

Francis,

That's why you don't put it on your skin fucktard. I'm not going to whatever the hell your planning anyway, so it doesn't matter _what_ you have to drink.

Someone less annoying,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Just shut up already you frog.


	82. Colorado IV

Dear England,

(But pouting always works! Doesn't Daddy pout at you?)

I don't want to know either, but I'm sure that I'll be hearing from New Mexico about it sometime soon...

[shaky handwriting]...I tried talking to Uncle Mattie like you told me but...b-but...![/shaky handwriting]

I-I just hope he gets better soon...

Onto happier topics, yay Daddy says hi! And what did you cross out? I see love in there somewhere~~!

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

P.S. Oh I won't hurt myself! Snow's soft right?

* * *

Dear Colorado,

(Just...shut up. That only works some of the time.)

Oh dear God...*headdesk* Sorry dear, he didn't try to stab you did he? We're hoping he'll calm down soon too. I asked Prussia to go see him... I didn't cross out anything important, so stop talking about it.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. That's what Russia said right before he broke his back. True story.


	83. Scotland I

Well if it isn't my wee baby brother Artair! Writing letting out there too are ye? Well WHERE DO YOU GET OFF TELLING FRANCIS ABOUT MY STDS? You know I take about a dozen medications so that they're under enough control for people not to notice them, and I had a good thing going with my ex boyfriend thar before YOU had to go and wise him up to it! NOw he won't even return my phone calls you little shite! I THOUGHT you didn't even like him, so why the FECK would you warn him that he could catch something from me!

GO TO HELL.

Love(not really),

James 'Scotland' MacNeil

* * *

Scotland,

Oh lovely. Now not only do I have Francis and Prussia badgering me, now my bloody family won't leave me alone. MY NAME IS ARTHUR. A-R-T-H-U-R. And I told him because he wouldn't shut up, and while it didn't work very long that little scare tactic worked for a few letters at least.

I would, but then I would see you there.

Sincerely,

_Arthur_ Kirkland


	84. Oregon IV

Dear England,

[shaky, hurried handwriting] What do you do when a dragon suddenly shows up in your backyard and decides to chase you? SOMEBODY HELP ME![shaky, hurried handwriting]

Running for my life,

Oregon

P.S. You said a couple of letters ago that my curse would wear off, but- [cuts off due to burnt paper]

* * *

Dear Oregon,

Oh bloody hell. Just...hide somewhere while I tell Norway that I found his dragon. Try a fire station, or somewhere else fireproof.

Hold on,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Oh God, please don't be dead...


	85. Norway II

Arthur,

...

No comment.

Norway

P.S. Do you know of any ways of getting Iceland to call me "dear older brother"?

* * *

Norway,

I found your dragon. It's chasing Oregon, so how about you get your ass up there and take it home already.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland.

P.S. Considering my history with brothers, do you _really_ want to ask me that?


	86. Seychelles I

Dear Captain Eyebrows,

How are you? I'm fine thanks for asking.

How's your island? Mine's doing quite well sine I became INDEPENDENT from you.

The only good thing that came from being your colony was a high tolerance to poison( for your cooking was horrible). Though, because of you my english grammar and vocabulary skills have increased immensely.

I hope(not) to hear back from you soon.

Your old colony,

Seychelles

* * *

Dear Pigtails,

I'm fine. I would ask how _you _are, but you seem to have beaten me to the punch. My country is quite fine thank you, and I'm glad yours is doing well too. I never hear anything about it, so I wouldn't have known otherwise. I'm not even going to bother with the food jab; I'm used to it by now.

Dear, if you don't want to hear from me you shouldn't send me letters.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	87. Colorado V

Dear England,

...W-well he didn't try to stab me but...well let's just say that I didn't know that Kumajiro could breath fire... Prussia better get there fast before someone else becomes like a well done steak...

Oh, sure you didn't cross out anything important~~ *knowing smirk*

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

P.S. Seriously? Oh wait, I think I saw that in the newspaper too! General Winter must've just made the snow hard for him! I'll be fine!

* * *

Dear Colorado,

Oh dear. I didn't know that either...I'm sorry I suggested you go near him now...

Shut it.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. No, you won't be fine. So don't do anything stupid.


	88. Prussia XII

Dear Ig,

Course I'll keep telling myself that! Cause it's true!

What do you mean that they lack good judgment? They recognize my AWESOMENESS! You're just jealous! And you're kidding, you know you love us! ;)

Still gracing you with awesomeness!,

Prussia

P.S. again? What did you or your boyfriend do to him now?

* * *

Prussia,

Sure it is. Sure it is.

Because they're both pedophiles, and friends with you. No, I don't love any of you. Especially Spain.

Still decidedly un-graced,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Nothing, he's fine now. He had another one of his 'episodes'. You know, where he goes crazy and tries to kill everybody?


	89. Indonesia I

Halo Inggris,

How are you? How has everything been? I can imagine France is still harassing you on a daily basis, America has been visiting a lot lately, so I know what it feels like to be annoyed by someone.

I can't wait for my garden to be perfect, maybe I'll send you some, though since we live so far away from each other, I worry they might die before reaching you.

Hope you're well,

-Indonesia

P.S. How is my english? better? I've been trying to learn more words, plus you and America have such weird differences

* * *

Dear Indonesia,

I'm fine, things are fine. Francis is harassing me in fact, I'm seriously considering getting Switzerland to shoot him at this point...I'll ask Alfred to leave you alone if you want. I know how annoying he can be.

Oh, you have a garden? It would be really nice to see some of the flowers...If you dry them they won't die, though they won't be as pretty. Hm, we'll figure something out.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. It's fine. You really can learn either one. The only real difference is slang...


	90. France XII

Chers Angleterre,

Hon hon hon, petit Angleterre, you will have no choice! I WILL tell you that it will take place somewhere in the two weeks before your wedding night, but you will not know the time so...

Je vais devoir vous faire enlever!

Francis Bonnefoy

PS. Do not try to hide, remember that l'amour always finds what it seeks if it wants it hard enough!

* * *

Francis,

Try to drug me and I think Alfred will be upset. You still remember the _last _time you tried doing something like this right? And we haven't even picked a date yet you wanker...

How blunt,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Or how about you just drop it altogether?


	91. Scotland II

Wee Baby Brother Artair,

I'll call ye whatever I bloody well want to, you know that, and that's how yer name would be said in meh country anyway. And that's no good reason to tell him shite like that, that's fecking PRIVATE.

Maybe I should go to little Alfred's house and tell him all about those zits ye've got on yer arse, see if he's so keen on marrying you then! And don't try sayin ye don't have'm, I saw them clear as daylight last time ye got drunk and skinny dipped in Locke Ness! God ye were mighty lost that day... kept sayin ye were in yer queen's bathtub, ye loony.

Oh, and meh fairies can kick yer fairies arses.

Sincerely,

James 'Scotland' MacNeil

* * *

Scotland,

Oh dear God, I think you might give me an aneurysm simply from your atrociousgrammar...If it's so damn private, maybe you should stop complaining about it as loud as you can everytime you have a pint or two?

No offense, but I don't think that will work. And are we _really _going to trade stories about how crazy we get when we're drunk? I'd really rather not spend 50 letters conversing with you.

Oh, and remember that time you robbed a museum because you claimed they had Nessie's mother inside?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

**PFFFFFFFFT. Scott acts like Al's never seen Artie's ass before...XD**


	92. Jamacia IV

Dear Arthur,

Your enthusiasm excites me. And now Haiti, who is currently over my house is probably texting Costa Rica and Brazil about it. Ah, um she wants to write to so here goes hell.

Haiti here! That's so cute! Cost Rica wonders when he can marry Jamaica, (EW.) That was Jammy, and now she's all mad. Oh well, more of the letter for me to write. And also, that was Costa throwing stuff at you, he has a tendency to pop in when he feels like it. That and he's rude. Sorta. Not to mention that a lot of people say they resemble each other a lot. This just creeps poor Si'mon out. Oh Um, she's kicking me off now.

Disregard all of that now. I'm goanna go shove curry down Haiti's throat now.

With love (Oh hell no)

Haiti, and Jamaica AKA Sharlene and Si'mon

* * *

Dear Jamaica and Haiti,

Um, I don't really know when he can? Whenever he wants if he ever gets Si'mon to agree I guess. Oh, sorry Si'mon. Keep a better handle on him though. How have you been? You had that huge earthquke lately...I guess Jamacia will tell me next time she sends me a letter.

Well, good luck with that I guess.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	93. Sealand IV

Dear Mum,

You totally are! Mummy is a jerk-face, who doesn't like being called Mummy!

I was mocking you when I said that btw... I didn't inherit "Compulsive Hero Syndrome"!

I did that, and there was banging at the door. We were in there for a bloody hour! Then daddy found us, saying that you were so worried that you looked like you were about to cry! Were you going to cry Mumsie?

Probably not.

Love,

Peter Kirkland

* * *

Dear Peter,

Still not your mum...

I'm starting to doubt that. And I wasn't going to cry! It's just...gah. Nevermind.

What the hell does that mean?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	94. Canada XI

Dear Arthur,

I'm sorry for my earlier behavior. A few of the Providences (and Prussia...) came over and calmed me down, Quebec's french is surprisingly soothing. I did take a long nap after words and dreamt of a world where I was noticed, eh!

I did not stab anyone! Just a trashcan with everyone's pictures taped to it! I felt bit better after that...

Sincerely Sorry,

Matthew Williams

P.S. I scared her? Please tell her I apologize and will send her an apology basket of assorted maple syrups! Straight from Uncle Matt's house!

* * *

Dear Matthew,

Glad to hear it. And people seem to be noticing you alot lately...so maybe you should stop worrying about it. And that isn't disturbing at all Matthew, not at all.

It's okay,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. She says it's okay. You sicked Kumajiro on her. Since _when_ can he breathe fire?


	95. Liechtenstein III

Dear England,

I suppose so. I heard Seychelles wrote to you as well. She didn't seem too happy about it for some reason. I think Bruder just left the house. Perhaps you should warn France.

Sincerely,

Lili Zwingli

P.S. I'll stop talking about it if I must. But why is it embarrassing? We're all just happy for you.

* * *

Dear Liechtenstein,

Who knows? The girl can't seem to decide if she likes me or not. No, I don't think I will. He's been especially infuriating lately anyway. Plus he's fast enough not to get _too _hurt, just banged up a bit.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. When you get married, I'll be sure to have _everyone_ talk _constantly_ about _your _wedding too. You'll see why it's embarassing.


	96. Colorado VI

Dear England,

Ehehe...Do you remember in your last letter to not do anything stupid? ...Well...I'm sort of in the hospital now...with a broken leg...It wasn't my fault though! General Winter must have payed a visit and made the snow hard! Yeah, I jumped from the top of a McDonald's building, but I swear the snow should have been soft enough!

Anyway, don't worry about Uncle Mattie. I guess Prussia got there in time because I got some Maple Syrup in the mail with an apology! I'm glad he's all better now!

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

* * *

Dear Colorado,

Dear God girl, snow _is not_ a bloody cushion! It's crystalized _ice!_ Which means it's _hard_ when you hit it! General Winter had nothing to do with it; it's physics!

Yes, I know. He sent me an apology letter. Just...try to talk to him more so that he won't get liek that again anytime soon.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	97. Oregon V

Dear England,

Phew! I got away! That thing had me running from my house in Portland all the way to Anchorage before Norway showed up and subdued it. He's already apologized to me for the trouble.

Alaska says he's going to help me break the curse. I'm a little hesitant to try his help because I'm still having neck spasms from the last time he used his 'shamanism' on me...(he was trying to cast some kind of ancient stress-relief spell on me. It...didn't end well) Do you think I should try it? Alaska does have some experience with Russia and his curses...

Exhausted,

Oregon

* * *

Dear Oregon,

Ugh. He needs to keep a better rein on his bloody pets...At least he apologized.

Uh...Alaska is a bit of a gamble it seems. If you really need to get this curse off then you should at least try, I just hope you don't get hurt. I don't really want to know what you mean by not ending well.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	98. Seychelles II

Dear Cynical,

Alright, it seems you have outsmarted me this time. Honestly no matter how good I get with words, you are always better! It's completely and utterly infuriating!

GRAH! Anyways, I am going to inquire a favor of you, could you come visit soon? It's not like I miss you or anything, but it's lonely sometimes and when Francis is your only intentional visitor, you become desperate.

With love(somewhat),

Seychelles

P.S Pigtails was a low blow.

* * *

Dear Argumentative,

Well, at least you know when to admit defeat. I taught you that much at least. Oh dear, I forgot. Francis _does_ visit you alot, doesn't he. You poor, poor girl. I'll come over, but either it will be a while or Alfred will have to come with me. Clingy wanker.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. So was Captain Eyebrows.


	99. France XIII

Chers Angleterre,

Upset? Well what he doesn't know can't hurt him! And as for the last time I.. er... I can't recall a thing! Hon hon... enlighten me what you're talking about perhaps? And obviously I haven't fully decided on the date either, and for all you know I only told you that time frame to distract you from the REAL time!

Le chiffon de chloroforme devant votre droit de la bouche est maintenant de moi,

Francis Bonnefoy

PS. We'll have much fun when you awaken, Angleterre! I promise!

* * *

Francis,

I think he'll notice if I go missing. The bloody git won't leave me alone lately...And I'll give you a hint. It involved a shotgun, multiple bullet wounds, and you getting tossed into the Thames. It doesn't matter _when_ you plan this whatever-it-is, I'm not going.

The 'does this rag smell like chloroform' bit only works on Italy,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. No thank you.

P.P.S. Oh, by the way. Last time I heard Switzerland went over there. With a gun. How'd that go?


	100. Prussia XIII

Dear Ig,

SEE! Now you agree!

Well I can't say too much for Spain, but France goes after you too. And why do you hate us? Cause we can ACTUALLY cook and not kill people?

Knowing you'll be graced with awesomeness one day,

Prussia

P.S. oh, I hate it when that happens.

* * *

Prussia,

Once again, it seems the subtleties of sarcasm are lost on you. And my point was that Francis has 'been after me' since I was two feet high. I hate you because you're all morons who do nothing but destroy property, have sex, and drink.

Knowing that I won't,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Is there anyone who _enjoys_ it?


	101. Seychelles III

Dear Smart Aleck,

It's funny really, Papa Francis usually comes around once a month, but he hasn't come in two and every time I call him he says he is busy on a ' special project'...strange.

Alfred is your fiance right? Can't believe I'm saying this to you but congrats old man!

He can come with you if you want...as long as he doesn't build a McDonalds on Mahe... those things are pure evil.

Wishing the best to your and your man,

Seychelles

P.S Ah touche...Damn it you won again!

P.P.S. Tell Peter he owes me 10 cents, from the last world meeting.

* * *

Dear Insolent,

Oh dear God. Remind to purchase some mace so I'll be prepared when he does something stupid and tries to kidnap me again...

Yes, he is. We are now dropping the subject. We'll come over soon I guess...I'm looking forward to seeing you.

Shut up please,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Alfred says hi.

P.P.S. So does Peter. And by 'hi' I mean he said you have cooties and that he's not paying you back. But let's just go with hi for now while I box his ears.


	102. Scotland III DONE UNTIL SURPRISE :D

Artair,

You wouldn't have to worry about aneurysms if ye didn't have yer magic wand so tightly jammed up yer arse. And you know as well as I do that anything confessed after a pint should stay between those that were thar to hear it!

And yes, I do actually remember somethin about that, obviously it's a bit fuzzy but if I recall correctly you were right there next to me helping me carry out the rib cage!

Oh, that reminds me of when North and South Ireland were tipsy and broke into some citizen's house and started a war on each other and took this huge bag of flour and made a line to divide the house in two. I felt sorry for the poor bugger who came home the next day to a drunk Irish couple strangling each other in his kitchen with flour everywhere... good times! I think I still have pictures of that!

Heh, you just don't like trading stories because usually when you get drunk yer either left crying over yer past or off shagging Francis and ye don't talk about the second thing. You just wish yer stories were as great as mine!

Sincerely,

James 'Scotland' MacNeil

* * *

Scotland,

You would give me aneurysms if you didn't have your head so far up yours. And I would agree with that if you hadn't shouted it to the entire bloody pub. You can only get mad at me for spilling the beans if you were doing a competent job at keeping the secret yourself.

And no, that was Wales. I was trying to talk you two out of it. Why is everyone in our family a drunkard again?

Oh yes, I remember that. Poor bloke...I heard that they burned his house down when some of the flour got on the stove and exploded. No, we _don't_ talk about the second thing. So how about you shut it.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

**Okay, that's 100! I know it says 102 chapters, but I didn't count the notice or the first letter from Arthur. :DDD No more will be answered until at least Monday, which is when it looks like I'll be able to do the surprise. All the letters currently unanswered and any new ones in before the surprise will be a part of the surprise. See you then!**


	103. France XIV

Chers Angleterre,

Ah, I was actually supposed to be behind you when you recieved that last letter but alas it seems I was a bit distracted... as to Switzerland coming over I can say it did not go well. I did manage to avoid getting shot but he killed Pierre II! HOW COULD HE? My poor little bird... who will send my emergency notices now? Well at least Prussia has assured me he will help with any revenge since we're pretty sure Pierre II was related to Gilbird... distant cousins or something.

But regardless your surprise Bachelor Party must wait until after the bird's funeral, excuse the tear stains on this letter mon amour!

C'est un jour triste en France,

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Frog,

I don't want to know what you were going to do to my Iggy, but I'm glad that it didn't work out. **I'M GLAD YOUR BIRD DIED! **

Anyway, stay away from my Iggy, you stupid bastard Frog. you are not throwing any bachelor party unless you get my permission and tell me _exactly_ what you're going to do.

BTW, the way your tears smell like frog piss,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones

* * *

**YESH. THE SURPRISE IS THAT MY BFF (ONE OF HER CHARAS IS ALFRED) ANSWERS YOUR LETTERS. FOR ONCE WEDDING QUESTIONS SHALL NOT BE AWKWARDLY DODGED! :DDDDDD**


	104. Colorado VII

Dear England,

Well I'm sorry! Some of my citizens thought it would be fun and I was like, "Why the hell not?" And if General Winter had nothing to do with it, then he should. It's better to pin it on him. Speaking of which, I got a surprise today. Russia came to visit! He said he came to see how the winter was over here and gave me a sunflower, how sweet!

And of course I'll visit Uncle Mattie more! The wedding is a good time as any to see him too! Ack, sorry, you must be getting a lot of questions on when it's going to be huh? Just ignore the question then.

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

* * *

Dear Savy,

Sorry kid, Iggy can't come to the computer right now. He's sleeping off a nasty limp. ;3 So I took the liberty of logging on to his email and answering all of his letters for him. :DDDD

So I heard that you jumped off a McDonald's. I did that a few years back and was only in hospital for a couple of days. us countries heal fast, and it's prob the same for states!

Russia came over? Ask him if he's still mad at Mattie and Iggy, cause if he is I need to sort him out. or you can sort him out, you hit hard kid! BTW, roses are WAAAAAAAY better than sunflowers, just so you know.

Visit...who?

Love,

The BEST Dad in the WORLD

P.S. You guys are all totally invited to the wedding, be sure to tell everyone! (We're gonna need a BIG church...)


	105. Jamaica V

\Dear Arthur,

I'm hiding in my closet writing this becuase Costa is over looking for me. I swaer I hate it when he does that. I mean jesus if he likes me he doesn't have to stalk me everywaking minute to let me know. Haiti also says she's a bit better and has over my house becuase she was really depressed by all that was happening. That and a hell of alot of years ago, when you were still a pirate a hufe eathquake hit me and welll, my best part of Kingston was sunk. That and most of the gold, spices and other stuff me and my people horded up. Haiti's trying to get Costa to go away... Uh oh. He got in. Oh lord.

About to get her hands bloodied

Si'mon

* * *

Dear Jammy,

I feel your pain man, Max does that to me ALL THE TIME. He's like Bella or something. (Not the on from Twilight...the one we know. XD) "He's all like; "HERMONO MARRY MEEEEEEEEEE" and I don't even know WTF that means. Oh! i remember helping Haiti. Whatever you do, tell her not to look up a song called 'Don't be A Playa Haiti'. Actually, tell Luddy not to look it up. 'Cause now that I think about it the song has nothing to do with her. XDDDDD I'm sorry that Kingston...even though that was when I was a kid and Iggy was a BA.

Sorry to hear that,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones


	106. Massachusetts IV

Dear England,

Oh you know! Then can you explain what it is since I don't really get it...

Have you heard from Oregon? I'm thinking of visiting but I heard some yelling from that direction. I think I saw Norway running there as well. If Dad is there then can you tell him to come home? Everything is getting weird around here...

No seriously tell him to come home,

Carrie Jones

* * *

Dear Care-Bear,

No worries! Oreo's fine, she was just being chased by one of Nor's dragons. Don worry, she's fine.

Daddy will come home ASAP, but not right now. I'm busy. ;3

Ur new mommy can kick me out later,

The BEST dad in the WORLD


	107. Scotland IV

Artair,

Well you don't do such a bloody great job of shutting yer trap when you've had a few either! Just because a random group of drunkards from Liverpool know about yer stuffed unicorn ye sleep with and what ye REALLY got up to with Elizabeth the first, does that mean I get to post the video on Youtube for the world to hear? No!

Anyway, ye sure that was little Wales? Oh... oh yer right, like I said, it was a little fuzzy. And we ain't drunkards, we just know how to have a good time! Well except fer you Artair. I mean, you're the depressed drunk in our family. The Irelands are the violent drunks, Wales is the happy agreeable drunk and meself... well I'm the slightly crazy drunk, but France always said that made me more fun until you told him of my little problems in the nethers ye wee brat. Though this makes me wonder what little Peter would be like drunk. I mean he doesn't really count as a nation but he's got our eyebrows so maybe we should slip him some gin and tonic and see what he does?

And yer right, I don't want to hear about you shacking it up with my ex either now that I think on it, so I'll leave it at that...

Sincerely,

James 'Scotland' MacNeil

* * *

Scotty McJerkface,

Before I go off on you, I just wanna say that that unicorn thing is ADORABLE. So screw you.

First of all, Iggy is ALL of those when he's drunk. He has like...stages man. It's WEIRD. Plus, Iggy hates you! Even if you are drunk why the hell are you telling him about your 'nether regions'? Don't you DARE put anything into my 'adopted' son's drink! I will shoot you man! And I don't like to shoot future brother-in-laws.

BTW, Iggy hasn't done anything with Francy pants in a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG time so SHUT UP you weird drunk person.

So long,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones

P.S. BTW, I screwed your bro into the bed. Hope you don't mind~ :DDDD


	108. Prussia XIV

Dear Ig,

It's not lost on me! I've left it behind because I'm too AWESOME! And you can't say anything about the drinking. I've seen you drunk before. It's not a pretty picture (well it's more of a hilarious one that makes excellent blackmail material)…on that thought…you want to go drinking sometime?

Liar!,

Prussia

P.S. probably that freak Russia. There's no way you can disagree with me on that

* * *

Dear Bird Guy,

Is it weird that I never remember ur name?

Dude, it's always lost on me too! Iggy's so confusing cause I can't tell if he's being serious or not.. :(

BTW, I'm awesomer than you!

I do agree that Iggy drunk is not the best thing in world...although after a while it's pretty fun... ;3 (I think you know what I'm getting at~)

So long,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones


	109. Sealand V

Dear... Arthur

You are, but I called you Arthur. Happy now? It bloody hurt typing that.

It means you hate me.

with some sort of love,

Peter Kirkland

* * *

Dear Son,

Hiya little dude! :DDDDD How's it going? I'm sure Artie would be happy that you typed his name if he could come to the computer right now, but it doesn't mean he hates you! He's just tsundere and doesn't want to admit your existence!

Yo're soooooo cuuuuuuuute! And like, the only boy kid I have since all the states are girls except for like...two! And I never talk to them! :DDDDD

Love,

The BEST dad in the WORLD who loves the BEST mum in the WORLD


	110. Canada XII

Dear Arthur,

People are noticing me! Oh I'm so happy!

Oh, you did that to Kumohiro once when you were drunk and playing with your wand.

Did I just make a double entendre?

With love,

Matthew Williams

* * *

Dear Mattie,

People are noticing you? I didn't notice... But congrats! I really need to take that thing away from him... One time he actually turned Francy Pants into a frog! It was AWESOME. XDDDDD Peter even tried to dissect him man!

I believe you did! Imma go play with Iggy's wand now... ;3

So long,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones

P.S. Who are you again...? 8D


	111. Oregon VI

Dear England,

Please forgive me if this letter comes late. I'm at Alaska's house and it might take a little longer for it to get to you...

Alaska says that Russia had put some kind of delayed-action sort of curse on me. Apparently, the effects worsen the longer one carries it...I'm going through the treatment now, though it isn't exactly what one would call a comfortable experience; it kind of involves clotheslessness, talismens, and creepy masks...

I hope things are going alright for you, and I hope nobody's giving you any trouble.

Recovering,

Oregon

P.S. I heard that Colorado broke her leg...

* * *

Dear Oreo,

Naw dude, 's kay. Letter's not _that_ late.

Russia put a curse on you? He is SO dead man. Time for another Cold War dude! I hope Lassie can reverse that shit, 'cause ur clumsy enough as it is kid...

Iggy's doin' just fine...Though he's having trouble getting to his laptop at the moment. ;3

Love,

The BEST dad in the WORLD

P.S. Savy's fine, dun worry about her. :D


	112. Seychelles IV

Dear bossy, arrogant old man,

I don't really know what Papa is planing, but after seeing your letter, I'm not sure I want to...

Yay! Visitors, even it's it you and your fast-food loving boyfriend(giggle, giggle, snort), it's still somebody. I will have my best fish available upon your arrival!

Wistfully yours,

Seychelles

P.S. Hi!

P.P.S Well tell him, he's a fluffer-nutter-cotton-candy-stick-flying-unicorn-rainbow-doggy-diamond-penguin-loving Hubba Butt! And that I won that one the bet fair and square!

* * *

Dear Chelly,

Dun worry, Francy Pants ain't gonna do anything to _my_ Iggy while the HERO is around! :DDDDD

I think you mean fast-food loving _fiance_. ; BTW, can I has fish-burger? LOLOLOL.

What's 'wistfully' mean?

So long,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones

P.S. SUP?

P.P.S. There's a dime in the envelope. :D


	113. Rose Wing II

Dear Artair,

I'm sorry this letter is so late. One of the fae was being a bitch, and stole your letter and wouldn't let me read it.

We've our issues in the past and spent years not talking to each other;I'm not surprised he hasn't mentioned me. And since when have you and your brother ever gotten along when your sober. He does have things he doesn't tell you.

He's rather idiotic and was always so in awe of you, that he would let you call him anything. And as for your brothers, they do to work, and Wales keeps sober most of the time. They just work on internal issues that you take not interest in.

Sincerly,

Rose Wing

P.S STD stands for sexually transmitted disease, and since he can't transmit his herpes, it's not an STD. So there.

* * *

Dear Member of Iggy's Crazy Club,

So...ur flying mint bunny's sis? RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT. Kay. Whatever you say crazy! :D

Are you like...Scotty McJerkface's crazy ass stalker or something? You talk like you have a thing for him. Except...in a crazy, delusional way. So...Iggy's imaginary friend has some kind of gay-imaginary-bunny crush thing on him or something? Dude...trippy. I mean, not like I believe a word of this shit, but still. Trippy.

True, Wales is sober most of the time...But he's kind of a homophobe. Which means he doesn't want to talk to like...anyone but Roddy. XD He called me a fairy once! I only take interest in Iggy, and Iggy does _alot_ of work man. D: He's up till like...3 in the morning most nights. And even then I have to drag him to bed!

Dude, take some pills,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones

P.S. You _can_ transmit herpes man! Every kid older than 11 knows that in my country! We make them take classes!


	114. Norway III

Arthur,

There is nothing wrong with the way I care for my pets. I had only accidentally let my guard down because a certain Danish idiot wouldn't shut up. I am only glad your little friend didn't get hurt...

Norway

P.S. I expected you to say that...never mind then.

* * *

Dear No-way,

Dude! I consider there to be something wrong if one of ur pets nearly kills Oreo! But if it only got out 'cause Denny's wouldn't stop molestin' you that's fine. :DDDDD I'm glad she didn't get hurt too! We don't need any of Iggy's new kids dying before he can meet them!

So long,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones

P.S. Say wut? 0-0


	115. The Bermudas III

Dear England,

Wait BIG BROTHER America? E-EH! wow Wow WOW! We stop send letters for a break and next thing I know You send a wedding request to make wedding invitations? HOLY CRAP! 0.o CONGRATULATIONS! So whens the wedding and when do these invitations have to be done? Also this better not be some bloody joke your trying to pull on us Alfred or We will beat the shit out of you with our cricket bats...AGAIN.

Love,

Alice and Alyssia Kirkland (The Bermuda twins/The Bermudas)

* * *

Dear Triangle Twins,

Oh yeah! That was me! Iggy wouldn't have gotten anyone to make 'em, so I decided to see if someone would myself! Woo, more kids! I already had like...5 million, but kids are awesome! CALL MEH DADDY. :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD Of course I'm not joking! Dude, that would be so mean to Iggy! D: I'd never do that dude!

So long,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones AKA DADDY :DDDDDDDDDDDDD

P.S. Dun tell Iggy the date, it's a surprise! ;3

P.P.S. Dudes...how did you know I was gonna answer? Are you guys psychic or somethin'?

P.P.P.S. ! NOT THE CRICKET BATSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

* * *

**For anyone wondering, this secret date is July 4th. Al wanted to make that a happy day for Artie instead of a sad one.**


	116. Ireland I

Dear Eejit,

When where you going to tell me and Sean that you where gettin married? Oi! We found out from Scotty and he's no fun anymore, keeps muttering somethin' about France and its getting bloody annoying. What was I saying? Aye, why didn't you tell us!

See ya soon, ya bloody Eejit,

Serah O'Brian

PS. What did ye do to the leprechauns? They won't stop complaining.

* * *

Dear Sara,

I dunno when he was gonna tell you! :DDD He's probably wait until like...three days after the wedding! XD He's so silly...3

Scotty McJerkface is a jerk. Hence his name; Scotty McJerkface. You and Artiechoke don't exactly best relationship...but as long as you don't get drunk and kill the priest like at that one thing Iggy told me about you guys can come! We need more of Iggy's family... D:

Scotty McJerkface can't come though. And if you guys start trouble I'm kickin' you out!

So long,

Alfred 'Freedom' Jones AKA Ur future bro in law!

P.S. Dude...all of you guys need some meds. XD

* * *

**AND WE'RE DONE. IGGY HAS HIS LAPTOP BACK GUYS, SORRY. XDDDD**


	117. ALFRED I'M GOING TO BLOODY MURDER YOU

Dear Readers,

I have no idea what Alfred sent yesterday, but I dearly apologize if he pissed you off. I'm only guessing what he told you from what I've been sent in response, but please be assured that I changed my password and sent his sodding arse back home.

I'll begin responding again soon, but I just want to make it clear that I am in no way responsible for anything Alfred might have said to offend you.

Sincerely sorry,

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

**That means that you can start sending letters in as Al again Dor. 3**


	118. France XV

American Corchon,

I did not send this letter to you, and I hope Angleterre knows you are going through his mail because I know first hand how much he rages when he finds people going through his things without permission...

And of COURSE I could tell you about the bachelor party... perhaps you could even help in getting him to come! It will be quite amusing, with myself coming out of a wine fountain, and much drinking and dancers... I've invited Gilbert, Antonio, Romano, Italy, and Germany might come I suppose. Oh, and of course my petit Matheiu said he would attend if I got Angleterre to come! Anyway, I expect to have the party move through all of Europe's finest bars and show Angleterre all the fun a single man may have before he is tied down to one bed forever!

And yes, I believe he would be into that... you should try and tell me how it goes!

I would write this in french but you would never be able to read it,

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

He's _not_ a pig. And I sent him home thank you very much.

I'M NOT BLOODY GOING! Especially now that I know what you're going to be bloody doing!

I...don't even want to know what you're talking about.

Not sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	119. Scotland V

Artair's F*ck Buddy,

I didn't say it wasn't adorable, but when you think about the fact he's friends with the real thing, this obsession is a wee bit disturbing. Uni's been talkin to my fey about it for years, sayin how awkward it is when he's talking to his Uni doll when Uni's standing right there...

And if he goes through stages, I've only seen depressed... and perhaps a wee bit of crazy when he was young. But ya've made me interested, maybe I'll make it a goal to see Artair go through em all! And I was really just joking over Peter, I wouldn't get a kid drunk. Unless he wanted to!

And I'm not drunk right now you loony brat...

Sincerely,

James 'Scotland' MacNeil

PS. No, I don't mind at all if you loosened up his tight ass for a few hours. Could only do him good!

* * *

Scotland,

His name's _Alfred._ Please call him by it. AND I DON'T BLOODY TALK TO IT YOU GIT. AND STOP TALKING ABOUT THAT.

Ugh...I'd rather not go drinking with you again thank you very much. Not exactly up for another foursome with the Irelands...that was disgusting...And you better have been joking about Peter. _Do not_ give him any alcohol. Ever.

No, if you were drunk I wouldn't even bother responding.

Sincerely

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I don't even want to know what you mean...


	120. Seychelles V

Dear Alfred and Idiotic cap'n,

Well I'm glad Papa won't bother you much. I love him dearly, but sometimes he gets a out of hand. (if you both remember the academy days, he wasn't the most innocent person...)

Alfred( can I call you Alfie?) congrats on your engagement to the old man! You should know that Hungary had a spaz attack over the phone when I told her. (XD)

Wistfully is the adverb form of wistful. It means full of wishful yearning.

Err...I can make you a fish burger if you want...but it'll taste different(BETTER) then what you are use too...

Hoping to you two soon,

Seychelles

P.S NOT MUCH YOU?

P.P.S Thank you, it went to good use...penny candy...yummy.

* * *

Dear Rainbow Flag,

I hope he doesn't bug me. Francis needs to get it though his head that I am NOT going to anything that he has organized. Ever.

You can call him whatever you like, the boy has an absurd affinity for nicknames. Most of which make sense to only him. Remind me to never open the door if Hungary knocks again.

Good one.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. What?

P.P.S. Don't ruin your teeth.


	121. Colorado VIII

D-dear...Daddy?,

Oh my God, Daddy TMI, TM FREAKING I! I DO NOT NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU GUYS DO IN THE BEDROOM! And isn't England going to be pretty pissed when he finds out what you've done? The couch might be your friend for a while...

Eheh, yeah I did. You too? Well, I have to say, I'm much better now, I'll be out of the hospital tonight actually! I'll have to ask Russia tonight, since he offered to take me to my apartment. I don't know why everyone's afraid of him, he seems like a nice guy. Aw thanks for the compliment! If anything goes wrong, they better watch out or I'll knock the f*** out of them! I thought the sunflowers are nice though.

Visiting your brother...Uncle Mattie? You know, the one with the fire-breathing bear?

Love one of your many daughters,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

P.S. Yay! I can't wait for the wedding! I'm going to go tell Wyoming now!:D

* * *

Dear Colorado,

Alfred said...what exactly? That boy is staying in America for a _long_ time...

Yes, yes he did. With a superhero cape and his underwear on the outside of his trousers no less...I've given him the benefit of the doubt be assuming he was absolutely pissed at the time. Russia's taking you home? Oh dear...I'd advise against that course of action, everyone is afraid of him because he has a nasty habit of being mentally unstable and hurting people. One minute he's nice, the next he's trying to kill you with a pipe.

I still have no idea how that happened...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Oh dear...


	122. Massachusetts V

Dear Dad (So I'm writing letters to you now?),

A DRAGON! How in the world did that happen! Did some one curse her? Are you sure she doesn't need help? Oh man I gotta call to she if she's breathing!

And what do you mean busy! THERE IS A DRAGON CHASING YOUR DAUGHTER! What could be more important that! GET YOUR BUTT OVER HERE!

Not much love right now,

Carrie Jones

P.S don't call me care bear

P.S.S What do you mean by "mommy"?

* * *

Dear Massachusetts,

No, your not writing letters to Alfred. I kicked his arse back home after the laptop stealing incident.

Calm down, she really is fine. The dragon thing was about a week ago, Norway already grabbed it and took it back home. She didn't get hurt, just scared. Russia cursed her but Alaska fixed it. Calm down, you're sounding like Oregon.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I feel your pain...

P.P.S. Someone actually doesn't know yet? I'm amazed. Ask one of your siblings, or Alfred since he's back there.

* * *

**ALFRED AND ARTHUR ARE GETTING MARRIED CHU-CHU~ PAY ATTENTION, GOSH. JK. XDD**


	123. Greenland I

Dear Arthur,

I am sending you this note to inform you that your fiance has been "spamming," me with numerous wedding invites. I have told him many a time I am not attending, and yet I keep finding my mailbox stuffed with them! I'm sure you are aware that after the second world war I filed a restraining order, specifically, so I would never have to deal with his annoying chatter again. If this continues I will ask Denmark and Norway to declare war on you. Don't think just because I've been a little worn down for the last three hundred years, it will keep me from kicking your butt all the way to Iceland!

Also, if your wedding requires any catering I'm having a sale on some seal meat.

Respectfully,

Renette 'Greenland' Ericson

* * *

Greenland,

Why would you have them declare war on _me_ for something Alfred did? I'll tell him to stop, so calm down!

I'll keep that in mind.

Bamboozled,

Arthur Kirkland

* * *

**I LOVE THE WORD BAMBOOZLED. IT'S SO SILLY. :D**


	124. Oregon VII

Dear Dad and England if he's there,

My GOD! That scared me! Dad, pleeeeeeeaaaaaase don't go around stealing England's laptop! It's not right to take things that aren't yours! (sometimes I don't even feel like a daughter...)

And don't go around starting wars because of me either...just, don't. Okay?

It took quite a while, but Alaska FINALLY got rid of the curse (though my intestines seem to be twitching slightly). I'm still clumsy, but at least I can go back to falling down the stairs four times a day instead of eight. I'm just glad everything's going back to normal for me (how one defines 'normal' is another question).

Feeling awkward about the whole 'marriage' thing,

Oregon

P.S. PLEASE don't call me Oreo! It's so embarrassing...

* * *

Dear Oregon,

Don't worry, I have it back. And your father is currently contemplating the consequences of theft back at his house. He's such a child... I'll make sure he doesn't pick a fight with whomever he threatened to pick a fight with, okay?

Glad to hear it. (That doesn't sound pleasant) Maybe you should get one of those weird bracelets that helps your balance, it might help. Is _anything_ normal around here?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. It's better than 'Artiechoke'...Ugh.


	125. America XII

Dear Artiechoke,

You're not too mad right? I just got home from that long ass plane ride that was totally unnecessary! Seriously I answered a few of your letters and you kick me out and practically force me on the first plane back to Washington DC!

Are still mad at me? [strike]You're still wearing that ring right?[/strike] Even if you are just call me if Russia makes his way over there. I'm worried as hell right now!

I love you Artie.

Sincerely,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143! 143!

* * *

Dear Alfred,

Oh God...how I abhor that nickname...

Alfred, you _stole_ my laptop, hacked into it, and then answered _private_ letters and pissed off half of the bloody world! I'm still a bit steamed yes, but not as furious as I was when I kicked you out. [strike]Of course I am you wanker![/strike] I'd be more worried about Colorado...she said something about Russia walking her home after she got out of the hospital.

[strike]I love you too you insufferable git...[/strike]

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I get it Alfred.

P.P.S. Stop with the bloody invitations to Greenland already love. She's getting cross.


	126. Liechtenstein IV

Dear England,

You're not very good at dealing with girls, are you? Tell France that Bruder says: "I'm sorry about the bird. That was supposed to hit you." He said more afterward, but it was a bit rude.. Why was America answering your letters for you? Colorado says he mentioned a limp.. You aren't hurt, are you?

Sincerely,

Lili Zwingli

P.S. America doesn't seem to think it's embarrassing. I think it's just you.

* * *

Dear Liechtenstein,

What's that supposed to mean? I'll be sure to do that the next time I write him. He stole my laptop. Disregard that last bit. It's nothing. I'm not hurt.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. That boy has no shame. He also doesn't have the entire bloody world clammering about it non-stop in their bloody letters.


	127. The Bermudas IV

Dear England,

It's good to see you got back on again. Also CONGRATULATIONS! We're glad your getting married to Alfred even though he can act like a bloody wanker from time to time. But note We will never call him dad, that would be awkward on our part being that we've called him big brother for 400+ years now.

Love,

Alice and Alyssia Kirkland (The Bermuda twins/The Bermudas)

P.S. Also for the record we are not and never will be psychic. We have our ways of find out stuff secretly. That's for Alfred.

* * *

Dear Alice and Alyssia,

I'm glad I got again as well. I'm also glad that you two are writing again, I was worried for a bit. Oh bloody hell...Thank you. Can we drop the subject now? Please?

You don't have to call him Dad, but I seriously doubt that he'll stop asking anytime soon. Sorry.

Sincerely,

Arthur Krikland

P.S. I'll tell him that.


	128. Seychelles VI

Dear Queenie,

What about the good things papa organize? I mean he did host that party for Mattie's birthday...though everyone forgot expect Prussia...

Well anyways, I have officially dubbed your fiance Uncle Alfie. I am pretty content with the name for it clever as it is cute ^-^.

I'm still making up a nickname for you though...I'll come up with sometime. You should know; Hungary is like a freaking ninja when it comes to her and yaoi...doors wont stand in her way, just a warning.

Your bubbly acquaintance from Africa,

Seychelles

P.S Alfred wrote S'up so I answered not much you. gosh.

P.P.S My teeth are in perfect running condition thank you very much.

P.P.P.S Say hi to Lili for me I haven't seen her in a long time.

* * *

Dear Micronation,

You do know what would have happened if he had remembered to attend, right?

He'll enjoy that at least...How about just England or Arthur? Alfred already has enough infuriating nicknames, I don't need you adding more. Yes, I'm aware. But It might slow her down a wee bit.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Well excuse me, I wasn't there for that bit.

P.P.S. Glad to hear it.

P.P.P.S. I shall.


	129. Colorado IX

Dear England,

Oh um...well...something to do with mentioning a...limp...And yeah, I heard Daddy was back in the States. Hopefully he comes over, I want to show him the place I jumped off!

Hahahaha! Wow, I wouldn't wear anything like that when jumping off a building, but that's Daddy for you! Wait, why was he pissed?

R-russia is mentally unstable? Kill you with a pipe? Are you serious? ...N-now that you mention it. I'm at my apartment right now but...Russia's car still hasn't left the parking lot...Should I be worried?

Well I asked Uncle Mattie before and he said that you got drunk one time and changed him with your wand...Someone just knocked on the door, I'll stop here!

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

* * *

Dear Colorado,

Bloody hell...Just don't give me any ideas. The last thing I need is you two jumping off of another damn building. I meant pissed as in the British sense...basically I assumed he was wasted.

You didn't know? And yes, yes you should. I'll have Alfred head over there. Oh, that explains it.

I really hope that's not Russia.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	130. America XIII

Dear Artie,

How about my little English Muffin?

Good, I would expect you to be still mad at me... I'm sorry.

[strike]Thank god, I thought I ruined it for a minute there.[/strike] OH FOR THE LOVE OF-! Why does she insist on hanging out with him? I need to check on her now! Thanks for telling me babe!

By the way I've got a date, so we better get started on planing Artie!

With lots of Love,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. I know.

P.S.S. Okay, but I wanted her to come! Why does she hate me anyway?

* * *

Dear Alfred,

No. I can't decide which is worse... It's okay Alfred. I'll forgive you eventually.

[strike]You're a git.[/strike] You're welcome.

What day did you pick?

Love,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Stop irritating her already. I don't know.


	131. Massachusetts VI

Dear England,

(or is it mom? Didn't we just get over this?)

Oh, I'm glad to hear that. For some odd reason I'm the last to find out anything around here. Granted because of all that stupid snow this year I've been too busy digging myself out and dealing with flooding. It was messing alot of the faries up for some reason.

Oh, do you mind telling Dad that I (and my other siblings who can see) am not crazy? Mention something about fairy dust or spells and he makes an appointment at a hospital. It's starting to get on my nerves along with everyone else. You would think that someone that lives with an alien would know better.

Sincerly,

Carrie Jones

* * *

Dear Massachusetts,

England please. Don't listen to your father.

I'm sorry that no one told you. It never snows all that much up here; mostly it just rains. Alot. But when it does snow the faeries get depressed because everything that was still clinging to life dies.

I've had a have enough time convincing he that _I'm_ not mental. I doubt he'll listen if I start defending you and the others...Stiff upper lip. He'll get it eventually.

Do me a favor and never mention that thing again.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	132. Rose Wing III

Dear Alfred, or Artair, as the case may be,

I swear if you weren't marrying James' brother, I would curse you back to last week, and see if you still said we didn't exist. Just because you can't see us doesn't make us any less real.

Wales isn't really a homophobe, he's just awkward because he's the only one of his brothers who isn't gay. And I'm not saying Artair doesn't do a lot of work, I'm saying the others do as well.

If Altair were to read this letter, I'm sure he would be furious. And I'm not stalking James, I just...live with him. There's a difference.

-Rose Wing

P.S. Human's can transmit Herpes, nation's can't

* * *

Dear Rose Wing,

Well, thank you for refraining on my account at least. I doubt it would help convince him anyway...he's probably just think it was ghosts or aliens.

Bloody git...And I'm necessarily saying that they don't do any work, but I've never seen them at the office and every time I do see them they're drinking and arguing.

Oh bloody hell...what did he say this time? Er, now that I think about it maybe I should ask Scotland about you...just to be sure.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Just because Francis didn't manage to catch it doesn't mean that he can't transmit it. Hell, if I were a disease I wouldn't infect Francis either.


	133. Kansas I

Dear Dad and England,

Colorado just told me the good news! I'm so happy for you two.

Sorry it took me so long to respond. I was er...well...Missouri was getting in my space so I was hiding in Nebraska. (Don't tell her that though, she hates it when I sneak over.)

Do you guys need any help with the wedding? My sunflower patch is finally starting to bloom, and by the time you two tie the knot they'll be huge. You could use them for the ceremony.

Also England, keep Dad in check alright? Don't let him get in any trouble while he's over there. I don't know though, he really straightens up around you.

Love,

Amelia Jones

'The State of Kansas'

P.S. I'm really thinking about moving my state to Alaska. These Mid West states just won't let me be!

* * *

Dear Kansas,

Oh well..thank you. Do you mind if we drop the subject in future letters? Sorry about Missouri, and I don't think you have to worry about me telling Nebraska. Um...ask your father. He wanted to pick out the date/location.

I sent him home, so there's not much I can do at the moment but...I try. Don't worry.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Even if that were possible, I don't think Alaska would like that so much.

* * *

**AN: SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG. Everyone know's that fanfiction has been broken lately, and I just now got notified how to update. Imma try to update before I do my homework once I get home, okay?**

**Anyone going to Mizuumi-con?**


	134. Greenland II

Dear Arthur,

Er...sorry to lash out like that. I truly meant no offense. It's just...(Handwriting gets shaky) America drives me crazy and he won't listen to me!

Sorry, once again, did not mean to lash out.

Since you are his fiance I guess he has to bow to your authority a little bit, so I hoped maybe you could make it clear to him that I don't want him within three hundred yards of my borders.

Honestly you must be a god of some kind if you can put up with his constant jabbering. Does he ever stop talking?

Oh, and congratulations...I guess...about the wedding.

Sorry once again.

-Renette Ericson

* * *

Dear Greenland,

Well, alright. Just stop threating to declare war on people. I don't know abotu the first bit but he agreed to leave you alone. Begrudingily. Not really, but I don't mind too much...

Never tell him I said that.

Oh bloody hell, not again.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	135. Seychelles VII

Dear Little Continent,

Ah well, it's the thought that counts...right? At least he had a good time with Prussia ( *sigh* I've been hanging around Hungary to much).

I'm glad he'll like it. I think I'll call you Auntie Artie. Uncle Alfie and Aunty Artie...has a certain ring to it you know? I'm also implying that you or America are related to Papa( heh heh). No it really wont. She recently enforced her frying pan... now it's quite good at breaking things now (ask he'll tell you.)

Slightly amused,

Seychelles

P.S you're excused.

P.P.S I feel like a hypocrite for basically right after I wrote the letter, I found out I have two cavities...

P.P.P.S Thank you very much!

* * *

Dear Needs a Dictionary,

Well considering that his onyl thought was of getting laid, I don't think that redeems him too much. Or at all for that matter.

I'm not a bloody girl!

Bother...best brace myself to be tortured...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Hm

P.P.S. I told you not to eat so many sweets...

P.P.P.S. She says Hello.


	136. Canada XIII

Dear Arthur,

Sorry it took so long to respond, but I hate my brother... alot.

He's a pervert and thinks turing Papa into a frog is funny! It's not!

I hate him so much, and it's nice that you kicked him the hell out of your country as punishment for stealing your laptop. In my opinion, I don't think you should go through with this! He's obnoxious, loud, pushes his beliefs onto other people, and EATS NOTHING BUT F*CKING BURGERS! Do you really want to spend the rest of your life with someone like that?

Sincerely

Matthew Williams.

P.S. Did I mention I hate him?

* * *

Matthew,

I don't know what your talking about with the frog thing...but it sounds bloody hilarious.

And I'm not even going to comment on the rest of your letter.

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Yes, I think you did mention that.

P.P.S. Calm down before you go crazy again.


	137. Sealand VI

Dear Best Daddy in the Universe,

I'm doing fine! I'm glad he didn't see that! It would of been embarrassing!

Why couldn't he come to the computer? I don't know what 'Tsundere' is, but I think purposely dismissing someone's existence is considered hating them. Lots and Lots of hate, and I KNOW he hates me.

Thanks I guess... Please don't tell Mum any of this!

Love,

Peter Kirkland-Jones

* * *

Dear Peter,

He's not your dad...

What the hell were you two talking about? Wait, are you talking about me? I don't hate you... Hold on, what what was that about being tsundere?

Confused,

Arthur Kirkland


	138. Jamaica VI

Dear Arthur,

That made me giggle, but I think Costa and his hyper sense for stalking heard me. Then jumped in my closet and 'latched' himeself to my side. Why can't he just leave... Oh well,

Annoyed,

Si'mon

* * *

Dear Jamacia,

Wait, wait, _what? _What the hell is going on?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	139. Indonesia II

Dear England,

I feel so bad about that...I wish I could help you, but you see my boss will flip if I get violated in any way shape of form, plus he scares me. Don't worry about it, I mean I owe him so much anyway, and as annyoing as it is, since I feel like I'm babysitting a small child, he does know how to keep things interesting.

Ya, I have a garden, and really? I'll have to try that one day, though it's even more rewarding to see in person, maybe one day you could visit? Since our bosses are still in good terms -or is it on good terms?- it wouldn't be too difficult for you to visit, please I really have enjoyed when you visit.

I hope you are well,

Indonesia

P.S. That's a relief, and yeah I noticed that, oh and the next time you visit, I hope you don't mind if America just decides to randomly show up. He does that...a lot, and he nearly gave me a heart attack when I was waking up one mourning...urgh...

* * *

Dear Indonesia,

It's okay...he got shot at a couple of times, his bird died, America threatened him, etc. etc.. Alfred can be a child at times, but he's sweet.

That's what I heard, never tried it myself really. I'll see if I can visit, but I'm pretty busy right now. (The second one)

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I'm used to Alfred showing up out of nowhere, once I found him in my refrigerator.


	140. Ireland II

Dear Eejit,

Oi, say sorry to ye fiance for me, he wasn't supposed to read the letter... and tell him my name is Serah not Sarah. You weren't going to tell us where yea? Now I'm comin'. (Sean's not coming though, he ain't doing so well anymore but you know that don't yea you git.)

We didn't kill the priest, maimed him a little but didn't kill him, and it served him right tryin' to convert everyone. And can't promise that I'll be completely sober but I'm not going to mess up the wedding, I'm not Scotty.

Scotty isn't gonna be happy...

See yea,

Serah "Republic of Ireland" O'Brian

P.S. I don't need meds, the Leprechauns need them cause I'm pretty sure you did sommin' to them.

P.P.S. Keep this bloke around Iggy, I like him.

* * *

Dear Serah,

Sorry this took so long, I think I accidentally deleted your letter...

Alfred's just like that. He's to set on mangling all the cultures of the world to really pay attention to any of them. I'll try telling him anyway. I was going to tell you! Just probably not until after the wedding... (Whatever, he'd probably just pick a fight with someone anyway.) Even if he was being a downright arse that's no excuse to go at him with the car, miss, and then beat him with the axe you guys had in the back. And you did not maim him 'a little'.

Whatever, you're more civilized than he others so I guess you can come if you really want to.

Is he ever?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. If I did anything I don't remember, maybe it was Scotland.

P.P.S. Glad to know someone else does.


	141. Oregon VIII

Dear England,

Sorry about that... You know how Dad is... Right now, he wants to get back at Russia for cursing me.

What exactly do you mean by "those weird bracelets"? I don't think I've ever heard of them.

Signed,

Oregon

P.S. Dad should reeeeeeeaaaaaally consider stopping his 'nickname fetish'...

* * *

Dear Oregon,

It's fine, I have it back now and I don't think he's going to try to steal it again anytime soon. Although right now Russia's stalking Colorado, so I think he's even more angry...I'll calm him down somehow...

I dunno, I was at Alfred's house and there were commercials for them on the telly.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Good luck getting him to stop.


	142. Colorado X

Dear England,

I'm kind of scared right now...I opened the door and no one was there...

OMG, NOT ALONE, RUSSIA HERE, HELP! TRYING TO FEND OFF WITH METAL BAT, NOT SURE HOW LONG I CAN LAST!

HURRY!

COLORADO

* * *

Dear Colorado,

Oh fucking-

Hide somewhere, Alfred's on his way.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	143. America XIV

Dear Artie,

Love-bug? Sugar cake?

Can't write too much, me and Tony have to go check on Savy with laser/non-laser guns... aliens have awesome weapons! :DDD

It's a secret! btw can Tony be my best man?

Got to go baby! ;D

Love,

Alfie

* * *

Dear Alfred,

Why can't you just stick with Iggy?

Hurry up, Russia's attacking her. And don't you dare start a war. Just beat the shit out of him.

No, he CANNOT.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	144. Massachusetts VII

Dear England,

Alright, If you say so. You can fight with Dad over that one.

I heard I might be getting more rain soon. How do you deal with it? I can't wait for the summer when I get those few months of warm sun. States like Cali get all the fun... Even if she has all those accidents.

Are you sure we can't do a group intervention? If he can believe Oreo was cursed and chased by a dragon then why not us? Well, if you can stand it then so can I but, one more trip to a hospital and I'm going to say a ghost is following him.

I can understand what you mean, he makes fun of the fairies! He's not coming to the wedding is he? Please say no.

Sincerely,

Carrie Jones

* * *

Dear Massachusetts,

Bloody wanker...

Mostly I just stay inside and read. I swear it rains MORE in the summer, or maybe I just notice more. *sigh*

I've just stopped mentioning magic around him...which considering he never leaves me alone is pretty annoying. Why the fae love him so much I have no idea...And don't torture the boy. Do you really want to see him if he thinks he's being haunted?

I told Alfred he's not invited, but knowing him he'll find a way to smuggle the annoying little pest in.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	145. Rose Wing IV

Dear Artair,

You probably right, but that doesn't mean I'm not tempted.

Just because they don't come to the office you set up in London doesn't mean they're avoiding work. I can't speak for all of them, but James avoids the office because he doesn't like coming to London and wants to be rebellious.

Ask James what you will, he'll tell you the truth, although he's still upset over Francis breaking up with him, which is your fault by the way.

Sincerely,

Rose Wings

P.S It's not just because Francis didn't get it, he just can't transmit the disease, period.

* * *

Rose Wing,

Whatever, just try not too. And no offense to James, but most of the job is signing a never ending stream of bloody documents.

He'll get over it.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. And you know this...how exactly?


	146. Norway IV

Dear Al-freak,

If you ever make sexual suggestions concerning me and that STUPID Dane ever again, I will force-feed you nothing but Sweden's Surströmming for an entire month.

Norway

* * *

Norway,

Sorry about Alfred, he won't make any [strike]very true[/strike] comments about you and Denmark again.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	147. France XVI

Chers Angleterre,

Oh, mon petit! I am so happy to see your delicate and feminine handwriting as opposed to that corchon's boorish scrawl! He isn't nearly as fun to tease!

And if you do not go you will disappoint many people mon ange... oh but I'm sure you will get past this and see it is best to give in. You'll have fun once you are there, I promise!

Vous ne pouvez pas vous échapper!

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

My handwriting is not feminine! And he's not a bloody pig!

I'm sure everyone except your bloody friends will understand my decision not to go to any party you organize. So the only people I will disappoint are people I don't care about.

Watch me,

Arthur Kirkland


	148. Scotland VI

Dear Artair,

When I'm addressed in a letter as 'Scotty McJerkface' I'll call the wee brat whatever I want. But at least you knew who I was talkin to with that address, so I guess you're really going to be faithful to him. That's nice. Better then that French piece of shite.

Oh, so you remember that foursome? And here I thought you'd blacked all that out! It's crazy how those two can bend their legs up behind their heads like that innit it? Bloody fecking talent, that's what that is. And obviously I was joking about Peter! You really don't give me any credit at all, do ye?

And I can't blame ya fer not wantin to talk to me when I'm drunk, I kind of stop making sense after the first dozen bottles of booze...

Sincerely,

James 'Scotland' MacNeil

P.S. Don't worry, it was just yer f*ck buddy talking about how he'd just screwed himself into yer ass, nothing I couldn't have guessed on ma own.

* * *

James,

Oh bloody hell I walked right into that...France has no concept of commitment, EVERYONE knows that.

Don't remind me...Just don't remind me...

Considering how old I was when you gave me alcohol, no. No I don't.

You stop being civil after one.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Oh dear God...


	149. Seychelles VIII

Dear my lovely Auntie~,

Well, he raised me to a nice young lady...right? Though you called a uncivilized twat more then once during my years as your colony. Look, Canada had a swell time on his Birthday, I think that's an achievement of it's own accord oh smart one.

You sure as hell PMS like one. Worst then Belarus sometimes! *shiver*

Don't worry, she won't let her presence be known until after she is done filming ;).

Also, recently I have been in contact with Romano over the phone. He's quite the character! And now I know how to curse in 7 different languages! Including latin! ^_^ I'm so happy!

Recently Papa has had a funeral for his bird. He invited me, but I had some business to attend to that day.

Can you tell him I offer my condolences to him and that his bird is in a better place now?

Shine on,

Seychelles :)

P.S HAH I have finally beat you in a word game! SUCESS *victory dance*

P.P.S Shut up...it's not my fault I have a huge sweet tooth. If anything it's the candy's fault for being tasty.

P.P.P.S Tell her I say hi as well please~

* * *

Dear Fish Diet,

Hmmm. Or maybe he's a pedophile. And if your trying to make an argument I'm afraid your grammar has failed you girl. And I don't think he would have enjoyed himself if the party had gone the way Francis intended.

And I DO NOT PMS.

Bloody hell... I will wash your mouth out girl.

Good riddance. That thing was almost as annoying as it's owner. But I'll pass the message on I guess.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Not really, considering that the conversation originated with a comment to Alfred.

P.P.S. Yes, it is definitely the candy's fault that you have no self control.

P.P.P.S. I already told her. Come up with something new to say. Or better yet, message her yourself.


	150. Liechtenstein V

Dear England,

I'm sorry it took so long to respond. Bruder wanted to try to kill France again, so it's been a bit hectic. It's just supposed to mean that most of them have gotten mad at you in their letters at least once. I'm glad you're okay! I thought that you might have hurt yourself trying to cook. Seychelles said that once you burned down half the kitchen.

Sincerely,

Lili Zwingli

P.S. I'll admit, they are getting really obsessive about it. But it's the first wedding any nation has had in a really long time. Think of it this way: when you have kids, we'll be even worse. So enjoy the lack of female nations trying to discuss baby room decorations with you.

* * *

Dear Liechtenstein,

Let him. I don't care. Everyone seems to be getting mad at me lately. Not just the girls. I'm fine, really. And she's such a hypocrite. She once flooded the house trying to make a pool for her pet fish in the sink...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Yes I know...the last one was Austria and Hungary in the 1800s. Still, they can stop teasing me about it anytime now.

P.P.S. Wait, what was that about kids?


	151. Sealand VII

Dear Mum,

O-Oh, hey mumsie! He is totally my dad! and we were TOTALLY not talking about you. If we were we would be talking about how much a bloody jerk you are!

IDK WHAT TSUNDERE MEANS! DDDDD:

You should be,

Peter Kirkland-Jones-Oxenstierna-Väinämöinen

P.S. lol, look at all my last names! Tee Hee...

* * *

Dear Peter,

Not your- oh I give up. Call me whatever the hell you want.

Then who were you talking about?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Oh dear...how the hell do you pronounce those last two?


	152. Canada XIV

Arthur,

No. It wasn't.

Did I make you mad? Did I make you "bloody angry"? You run away and don't comment on other people opinions. You're extremely stubborn; more so than him.

Never mind, you deserve each other.

Matthew Williams

* * *

Matthew,

You just think so because you like him. Lord knows why.

Hm, did Prussia ditch you for the Bad Touch Trio again or what? You're in a bad mood. And lashing out at couples.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	153. Spain I

Estimados Inglaterra,

Hola! ¿Como estas? It's been so long since I saw you last. ¿Que pasa?

¿You're getting married! ¡Es fantastico! Me encanta el amor verdadero. America es muy bueno. You two make a good pair! :) And you can take my word on that one, they don't call me la nación de pasión for nothing.

Francia has been talking about some awesome licenciatura fiesta. Can't believe you actually agreed to it. I guess I shouldn't be that surprised. After all you were quite the party animal back in the day. You should of heard some of the plans he was making. They seemed a little...loco in my opinion, but Francia was sure it wasn't anything illegal so fine by me. ¡Go all out! :)

Oh man! That totally reminds me. Somebody told me Señor Rusia was messin around with the Estados. I hope they're alright. They aren't big and powerful like Señor Rusia so I worry. Especially about mis pequenos estados de sur. Don't want anything bad happening to them ¿no?

¡Oye! Have you seen Lovino around lately? I keep calling, but he hasn't been answering his teléfono.

¡Oh Dios! ¿What if he's in peligro?

¡Don't worry Romano! ¡Espańa is coming!

Lo Siento Inglaterra,

Hasta Luego

Antonio 'España' Fernandez

* * *

Dear Spain,

Hello. I'm fine, and nothing much.

I'm just not even going to bother anymore. Thanks you for the congratulations. Sorry to break it to you, but I'm not going. I didn't agree to it, Francis is probably just planning to kidnap me. And I'm pretty sure that part is illegal.

Alfred's dealing with it, so hopefully we don't have to worry.

No I haven't heard from Romano, but I'm sure he's fine and will beat the ever-loving hell out of you as soon as you get there.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	154. The Bermudas V

Dear England,

Awww thank you for caring about us Dad. Your too sweet.

Okay Heheheh the subject has officially been dropped, SIR!*salutes* Sorry for replying so late we been busy over here with the shootings happening over here. Ha ha ha...Knowin Al he probally will not stop asking until we call him Daddy. XD

Love,

Alice and Alyssia Kirkland (The Bermuda twins/The Bermudas)

* * *

Dear Alice and Alyssia,

Well, it's my job.

Thank you for dropping the subject. It's always something with you two, isn't it? Take care of yourselves.

No, he probably won't.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	155. The Philippines I

Dear England,

Sorry if I bothered you but I was pretty much interested in your wedding... can I be a bridesmaid? (I'm doing it cuz I want to see you in a dress, ;3) And Hongkong had sent you a wedding gift... um... just make sure if you open it you're twenty meters away from the box... *sighs*

and oh yeah, you're engaged with Kuya Alfie right? Can you do me a favor?

God Bless.

Sincerely,

Philippines

P.S: Next time you come to my country for vacation, stay away from my native liquor, I don't like having drunk tourists all over my house again.

* * *

Dear Philippines,

Ugh. I've honestly just given up on trying to stop anyone from talking about it...

Sure. I need more of them anyway. (I'm not wearing a bloody dress) And it got stopped in customs because they thought it was a bomb. The boy should know better than to send fireworks in the mail...

Depends on the favor.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Shut it.


	156. Seychelles IX

Dear Kill Joy,

MY DIET DOES NOT JUST DAMN FISH!

He's not a pedophile! I mean well...ah...okay he is, BUT he's a wonderful parent! I was just stating a point, no need to go all 'grammar police' on me. ...yeah you may be right.

YES YOU DO!

Vaffanculo. I'd like to see you try old coot. Besides, Romano's a lot of fun! Just as !

The bird was not that annoying...you just hate french things oui? Thanks anyways.

With indifference,

Seychelles =_='

P.S It so does count! You're just a sore loser.

P.P.S I DO TO HAVE SELF-CONTROL! ...Candy is just so tasty

P.P.P.S Oh right my bad. Wow...I feel stupid now. But, I think I will still send you messages asking about her. Papa was right...it is quite fun to bother you :)

* * *

Dear Grammar Failure,

Oh I'm sorry. Fish and candy. Same difference.

Sure he is. And of course I am.

No, I don't.

I've enclosed a bar of soap with the letter.

It didn't bring messages of disturbing content at all hours of the day to you, now did it?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Technically we weren't even arguing, so there was nothing to win.

P.P.S. Then stop eating so much candy. Resisting temptation is part of self control dear.

P.P.P.S. Stop listening to Francis. He's a bad influence.


	157. Oregon IX

Dear England,

RUSSIA'S STALKING SEVVY? OH. MY. GOD! SOMEBODY SAVE HER!~

Sorry... On an unrelated note, if you're walking in the forest and find a baby unicorn tied to a stake looking sad and hungry, do you take it home right away, or do you feed it something first and then take it home? And what kind of Cheerios do you recommend?

Signed,

Oregon

P.S. A lot seems to be happening these days...

* * *

Dear Oregon,

Alfred's on his way...so it should be fine...I hope...

Feed it first. Absolutely feed it first. It will probably attack if you try to touch it before it knows your a friend. The young ones like the yogurt-covered things and Lucky Charms.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Such is our lives.


	158. Hungary I

Dearest Arthur,

Good day!

Now that I have ended my squealing session after hearing about your wedding plans... So when will the wedding be? Can I be a bridesmaid? Oh my gosh I have the perfect dress for it! I am deeply sorry but this has been the first wedding ever since Feliks and Toris wedded and so did Roderich and Antonio between two male nations! Can I also work as security too? (Can't let anyone ruin the wedding or they'll die)

How's the wedding preparations? Roderich and I can help you (hihi, maybe the Italy brothers too) Roderich can play the organ!

That's all, good day again Sir Arthur.

Sincerely,

Hungary.

P.S Who's going to be in the dress? (It should be you)

P.P.S So excited for the wedding ;P

* * *

Dear Hungary,

Oh bother...

Alfred won't tell me, and sure if you'll leave me alone. Switzerland offered to do security (I think he just wants to shoot Francis) but sure. You're vicious enough.

Talk to Alfred, he's being all secretive...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. No one. (And shut up)

P.P.S. I noticed.


	159. Jamaica VII

Dear Arthur,

Okay. Let me explain. When Alfred stol you're laptop or whatever, and wrote me back he made me luagh like the next day I had to hide agian when Costa Rica tried to find me agian. So Haiti was trying to get him away from my room. But fate is an ass, so I giggled at that same momnet, he heard me, and huuged me. Going on about how I should never 'abandon' him again. So for the rest of the day I way stuck with him following me around like a puppy. That keeps on calling me cute. Like a creeper. Haiti says hello, she's just busy with something so she can't wirte a part.

Creeped out,

Si'mon.

* * *

Dear Jamaica,

I'm just going to make an attempt to save my sanity and assume that Costa Rica is the reason your grammar is so atrocious today.

I feel sorry for you dear...Although that sounds annoyingly like Alfred when he's being clingy.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	160. The Philippines II

Dear England,

Okay! Just tell me the theme of the wedding. (But I want to see you in a dress, I could perfectly picture it in my head, you being carried by Kuya Alfie out of the ceremonial place and kissing and stuff, and while you do it, I'll be standing behind you squealing, so perfect!)

And oh yeah, China asked if there was anything he could contribute to in your wedding. For what I know right now, Hong Kong's packing more "wedding gifts", and there's a big one for the wedding day... (um, be careful)

On the favor, tell him to get his um, to please get rid of this "marmite" stuff he left after he visited my country. He also forgot half of his baggage in the resort here, and he ordered about twenty burgers from the McDonald's from my place and I don't think I can eat them all... tell him that.

Sincerely,

The Philippines

P.S. Seriously, I don't want to want you to suddenly pop out in a village wearing only an apron, a collar and cuffs during a celebration.

P.P.S. You owe me $50 dollars since Hong Kong and Singapore lost a bet against me.

* * *

Dear Philippines,

Ask Alfred. He wanted to plan the ceremony and he won't tell me a bloody thing...That boy...(No, no and NO.)

Oh bloody hell, is it ever going to end? I'll talk to him... And I need to see if I can get Korea to distract him...(I will)

...Alfred hates marmite. What the hell aren't you telling me? I'll tell him about the baggage, but trust me he'll be able to eat those burgers. Don't worry.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Shut up.

P.P.S. Why the HELL do I have to pay? Shouldn't they be paying if THEY lost the bet?


	161. Colorado XI

Dear England,

Oh my God, that was fucking close...I managed to escape my apartment and ran like hell to Wyoming's house. Hopefully I have enough time to write this before he finds me. Sorry I couldn't really hide anywhere, our little battle tore up all the doors...I hope the renter doesn't get too mad...

So yeah, tell Daddy that I'm at Wyoming's and safe for the moment. *sniff*

That's it. I'm fucking pissed. I'm going to send Belarus a letter about his darling brother's wear-a-bouts right after I send this letter.

Sincerely,

Savannah Jones(Colorado)

P.S. Do you know the best way to castrate a nation? ^_^

* * *

Dear Colorado,

Well I'm glad your okay. Alfred dealt with Russia, so you can go home now if you want. And I'm sure if you explain he won't be mad. At you at least.

Oh dear, he's in for it.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. With something blunt and rusty.


	162. Hong Kong I

Dear Thick-Eyebrow bastard,

Gonna send your wedding gifts early. Hope you receive it.

You're cooking sucks, just for a reminder.

-Hong Kong

P.S. You owe Philippines $50 dollars. we placed it already on your tab and bank account.

P.P.S. Shave your eyebrows, they're getting fuzzier each day.

* * *

Dear Pyro,

I doubt it. Fireworks don't tend to make it through customs.

Hm, thanks. Because I don't hear enough about that already.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I told them it wasn't me who put it there. Pay it yourself. I'm not your bloody mum.

P.S. If they didn't annoy you so much, I might.

* * *

**Sorry for the delay, but I've been going CRAZY on my HetaOni story. XDDD (I still wanna write more... ;A;) Nothing for me to do at the moment, so I'm updating for journalism.**


	163. Seychelles X

Dear Acrimonious old sovereign,

There is a big difference. And I do not fail at grammar! It's just...not one of my strong points...

Do you remember that time I made your tea with mineral water? And you nearly destroyed the student council, because you were so angry? That is sure as hell counts as PMSing in my book.

Oh! It's ocean breeze fragrance! You know me so well! But no. I'm not putting it in my mouth. If you want me to clean my mouth, you'll have to hold me down and try. Bastardo d'Inghilterra.

Oui, once it did, the letter was supposed to go to you, but the bird got confused and flew to my house instead. You are welcome.

On a happier note, have you decided which countries are going to do what at your wedding? I had to bring it up again...sorry.

Bien à vous,

Seychelles *_*

P.S Meh, I still count this as a win. So now the score is 14,567(you) -to- 1(me)...damn it.

P.P.S If you've ever had cherry flavored rock candy, you'll know why I love it so much. I'm going to the dentist next Tuesday :(

P.P.P.S Who should I listen to then? You? Papa is my role model!

* * *

Dear Lippy Little Girl,

Not really. All you eat is fish with periodic breaks for tooth-rotting pieces of carmelized sugar. And you do fail at grammar, saying it's not your strong point is simply a less offensive way of saying it.

You did that on purpose. I was having a bad day, and I know you know how to make a bloody cup of tea. You _wanted_ to provoke me just so I would get in trouble.

You're welcome. Since I'm visiting soon, I'll be sure to do that.

It's not the same if you get one letter that's not even adressed to you.

We're working on it. And don't apologize unless you actually mean it. It makes you seem two-faced.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Keeping score are you?

P.P.S. Good luck with that. And I have had it. I simply have self control.

P.P.P.S. I have lost all hope for you growing up respectably.


	164. America XV

Dear Iggy,

Kay, I will! ;3

I just got back from saving Savy! :D Russia is now dumped into the pacific ocean. Where he belongs!

Awwwww Why not?

Love,

Alfred F. Jones

P.S. Eww... I've got Commie blood on me! D:

* * *

Dear Alfred,

As much as a Ihate the name, it's not nearly as annoying as the other ones you come up with.

Hmm. Speaking of that, she's pretty pissed. You might want to stop her before she tries to kill Russia or something.

One; he's an alien. Two; he hates me. Three; I hate him. Four; I said so.

Sincerely,

Arthur Krikland

P.S. And who's fault is that?


	165. Romano I

Oi Bastard,

Dunno why I'm even bothering to write this to your ass.

I heard tomato bastard has been writing, though I'd give it a shot.

Don't really care though.

Also, you could hear Frying pan bitch's squealing from Sicily, so I assumed that she caught Poland and Lithuania doing the deed again, or someone's getting married. So I did my research(I'm not as damn useless as my brother alright?) and found you're getting married to hamburger bastard. La dee fucking da.

Honestly, as long you don't make mini-bastards, I'm fine.

Oh, tell tomato bastard that if he ever comes into my house while I'm taking a fucking shower again, I'm going to put a new meaning to the word 'castrating'.

That is all.

Ciao,

Romano.

P.S. Seychelles told me that you burnt down the kitchen once...nice one.

* * *

Romano,

Neither do I, since you seem to be so excited about it.

Are you being irrationally jealous again?

Sure you don't.

I feel sorry for you, that must have been ear splitting. And yes, me and Alfred are getting married.

Yes, because that is definitely possible.

I'll tell him.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Shut it.


	166. France XVII

Chers Angleterre,

Oui, it is. And oui, he is. But let us not allow such petty things to obscure the lovely conversation we're having!

Oh non, Angleterre, for you will disappoint moi and I know you care about me more than anyone... except, perhaps, your fiancee.

Je t'aime, Angleterre!

Francis Bonnefoy

* * *

Francis,

Ugh...he's not a bloody pig...

No, I really don't. Trust me on this.

I hate you Francis,

Arthur Kirkland


	167. Sealand VIII

Dear Mumsie,

YAY Daddy said you'd give in after a while! :D

... Switzerland! Yes him. He's really Tsundere. I looked up what it means! It's one of Japan's words. Tee hee!

Love,

Peter K-J-O-V

P.S. I HAVE NO IDEA :DDDDDDD

* * *

Dear Peter,

Remind me to smack Alfred when I let him come back over...

And why would you care if Switzerland hates you?

No more wikipedia for you.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. You don't even know how to say your own name? Ask Finland how to say them...


	168. Scotland VII

Dear Artair,

Aye, ya did thar laddie. And I suppose I knew that too, but I thoguht maybe I could get him ta commit even a little... well he obviously didn't care about me if he'd ditch me at the first sign of... problems... Ah Artair, ya dont know how good ye got it with yer little Alfred. Ye really dont.

Well, I might remind ye that when I gave you alcohol I was only about thirteen years old physically meself, so I really wasn't that responsible te start with. Now I'd know better than te give that stuff to Peter!

And aye, I suppose I do tend to lose mah temper after one, but that's just Scottish spirit, I can't help it!

Sincerely,

James 'Scotland' MacNeil

PS. Yeah, you might want to talk to yer lover about how he publicizes her love life hmm?

* * *

James,

Ugh...Francis deserves to end up alone, so he will. No harm in that. And yes, I do. Trust me.

Good to know. I'd really not like to explain to Sweden how Peter got drunk if you did...

'Losing your temper' is putting it a bit lightly.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. He doesn't listen...*sigh*


	169. Canada XV

Dear Arthur

God forbid I like the only thing close to a father thing in my life! or at least a really creepy uncle...

SHUT THE HELL UP!

Coming with a Hockey stick,

MaTtIe

* * *

Matthew,

Calm down or your grounded. And I don't care if your mot my colony anymore, I still lock you in a closet for time out. Stop going bloody crazy every five minutes.

And most people don't like their pedofilic fathers or their creepy uncles. Stop with the Stockholm Syndrome.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	170. Ireland III

Dear Eejit,

Sure ya did...

You'd think he would know a bit more seen as my people became his people...

No ya weren't if France hadn't told Scotty none of us would have known. I've heard you even have been scarce at the office, or was that Sean... Hell, I don't remember anymore. No he wouldn't have you Brit! You don't fight at weddings of family.

Oi! He was being a downright arse! We didn't ask for your priest and now my island is still in turmoil you twit! He survived in any case so sha sha sha.

That's because I'm the happy drunk, you're the sad drunk, Sean is the excited drunk, Scotty is the mad drunk, and blimey I haven't seen Whales drink... or I wasn't sober myself...

One last thing, who is taken you down the aisle? I guess it doesn't matter but I bet Sean would do it if you asked.

Éirí an bóthar leat,

Serah "Republic of Ireland" O'Brian

P.S. Scotty doesn't mess with the Leprechauns but they never seemed to like you...

P.P.S. Got some spirit in him, just don't mess it up this time Eh? You already burned more bridges then ya built. I still haven't forgotten.

* * *

Dear Serah,

I did!

That's just Alfred for you. He's a bit dense.

Oh shut it. You would have found out eventually. And it might be both of us. Whales never shows up, and it's a bit hard to go to work what Alfred's over and being clingy... After a few glasses of champagne I doubt he would care very much where he was or who's wedding he was attending Serah.

It doesn't matter! And 'sha sha sha' me, you almost killed a civilian.

Whales tends to just so whatever the hell you tell him to do if he's drunk...hence why he helps James on so many of his hare-brained schemes.

I'm trying to figure that out...It's a bit tough considering most of my family hates me.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Maybe they just don't like the fae.

P.P.S. Yes, I know. I'm not that good with people. Especially not people I...care about.


	171. Oregon X

Dear England,

Somehow, I've managed to befriend a baby unicorn and now it follows me everywhere I go (and it likes to nibble my hair occasionally). I don't have any problems with this, I just worry about its safety...I guess that just comes with being a parent, doesn't it?

If it's alright with you, I might need to borrow a few books unicorn care (better safe than sorry).

The poor little cutie was so skinny when I found it. I fed it like you told me to and it did get a little bigger, but I'm still worried about its health and I don't know any veterinarians who specialize in mythical creatures...Can you help me?

Concerned,

Oregon

P.S. Does your being the bride at Dad's wedding mean you have to wearing a dress or a white tuxedo (if Dad is wearing a black tuxedo)?

P.P.S. Please forgive me for bringing that up...

* * *

Dear Oregon,

That's nice. If you treat it right it'll love you for as long as it lives. Just...don't screw it up ar you might end up like Texas. (Speaking of her, can you make sure she's okay? She hasn't written me back in quite some time...) Well, yes it does. You always worry when you take care of someone.

I sent them with the letter.

Er...I don't think ANY veterinarians specialize in mythical creatures. Give it a few weeks and see if it starts looking healthier. If it doesn't I guess I'll take a look at it...

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. ...the second one.

P.P.S. We'll see.


	172. Norway V

Arthur,

I hear you're marrying Al-freak. Be sure to send wedding pictures to me [strike]and Denmark[/strike].

Norway

* * *

Norway,

Yes, I am. I'll send pictures to the both of you.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	173. Indonesia III

Dear England,

HE really deserves it, after everything he has done. Just why does he feel the need to act like that in the first place? Words can't describe how disgusting he can get, expecially towards what he considers "beautiful"; I feel terrible for anyone who had to deal with him, though it's just as bad to have a lolicon in charge.

By the way, I was meaning to ask, many years ago I heard from Holland that you were a pirate? Was that true? You just don't seem like the type.

I really hope you can visit, or maybe I could ask my boss if I could? Maybe after I know big brother is ok? I'm so worried about him. It might take a while, plus I don't think my boss is too comfortable with my hanging out with too many other male nations, though maybe it's America he is cautious of?

Sincerely,

Indonesia

P.S your fridge?...let me guess he was searching for burgers?

P.P.S. I forgot to mention my human name, Karina, you can use my human name too if you'd like

* * *

Dear Indonesia,

I've gotten used to it...and it's still irritating. Bloody frog.

Er...yes. I was. Now we are changing the subject.

Yes, poor Japan...he got hit with a pretty bad after shock today, did you hear? Why doesn't your boss want you around Alfred?

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. I have no idea what he was doing. He was bloody sleeping. I swear the boy's mental...

P.P.S. Er...no thank you.

* * *

**I re-read a couple of leters and realized that I've been typing really fast. 0-0 Sorry for all the mistakes. ;A; AND SORRY FOR PUTTING THIS TWICE BUT I FORGOT THE PS-ES! And the reason he doesn't want to use your human name is becuase my theory on the names is that your only supposed to use them if your really close. He calls most of his colonies by their human names, Alfred abviously, and then Francis by force of habit. XDDDDDDDDDDD**


	174. Jamaica VIII

Dear Arthur,

Oh aren't you the polite one today? And yes that's pretty much why my grammar made eyes bleed. And Al's clingy as him? Never saw him as that type. Anyways, I must go now, my three year old cousin is bothering me to play with her. She's too cute.

Later,

Si'mon

* * *

Dear Jamaica,

Nice sarcasm. Alfred is very clingy, most of the time it's cute but it can get annoying...

Have fun with your cousin then.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


	175. Rose Wing V

Dear Altair,

Don't worry, I won't curse your precious little American. And he knows that; He signs more documents then I could ever hope to count at his desk here.

And I don't know if he will; he's been hiding it, but I think he's still depressed. They had a good thing going, even if Francis was a jerk to him, and kept comparing him to you and insulting his cooking, and I think James still misses him.

Sincerely,

Rose Wings

P.S. I shouldn't have to explain the nuances of human illnesses to a nation like you. A nation can only get sick if a certain percent of the population have the disease, and can't pass it on to other nations, only humans from his own nation.

P.P.S. Can you tell my brother to be careful? It's just that he so reckless sometimes and...you know what? Fuck it.

* * *

Dear Rose Wing,

Thanks. Ugh, can we just stop arguing already? It's getting tiresome.

Well apparently they got back together. The idiot.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland

P.S. Lovely. I'm not even going to ask why you know so bloody much.

P.P.S. Flying Mint Bunny says hi.


	176. Liechtenstein VI

Dear England,

You may not care, but some of us would prefer to have all the nations alive. I'm not sure why everyone's mad. Maybe it's because you get mad at them a lot too. She did? That's a bit clumsy, I suppose. But at least she succeeded in making a pool!

Sincerely,

Liechtenstein

P.S. Really, only France is teasing you. Everyone else is just excited.

P.P.S. Nothing. You should know, though, that Hungary let Seychelles, Wy, and I borrow some of her yaoi manga. Poor England.

* * *

Dear Liechtenstein,

Why? Some of them would be much less annoying dead... I don't know why everyone always cross with me either. And I don't get mad at them that often, only when they deserve it.

She wasn't even sorry when it happened. She only got upset because she stepped on her fish trying to get out of the huse when it started to flood. So the 'pool' was pointless then anyway.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland.

P.S. Well tell them to bugger off.

P.P.S. Bloody hell...


	177. Massachusetts VIII

Dear England,

I want rain... It's snowing here again, IN THE SPRING! I might go insane with all this crazy weather. Can't you guys figure out how to fix global warming already!

Yeah, I've noticed that and I think the boss is getting annoyed. As for the faires...I have no clue either. It's kinda funny to see them try to get his attention, once they took his glasses and he kept bumping into walls. I also guess you're right about the joke. Maybe I can just cross my fingers and hope?

Oh! I know how to keep him away! Invite your bosses! I don't think Dad is allowed to have Tony around if to many people are around (He's a bit of a national secret) so then we can keep him away!

Sincerely,

Carrie Jones

* * *

Dear Massachusetts,

Cheer up lass, it's almost summer. And global warming makes the earth warm up, it doesn't make it snow.

Well he can deal with it, because I doubt he'll dtop bugging my anytime soon. Git. It makes me feel sorry for them, especially when Alfred calls me crazy for talking to them. They look pretty upset when that happens. Seems like all we can do for the moment.

As brilliant an idea as that is...that would embarass me to end. So no.

Sincerely,

Arthur Kirkland


End file.
